'Top Gear' getting taxpayers funding

Funny story written by John_L

Friday, 31 January 2014

image for 'Top Gear' getting taxpayers funding
The car Jeremy Clarkson uses to get to the tobacconist.

As it enters its 25th year the popular BBC show 'Top Gear' has been reveled to receive £3.2m of taxpayers money as it is seen to be an essential part of David Cameron's immigration strategy.

"Look 'Top Gear' is hosted by my good chum Jeremy so it's only right that he gets Taxpayers money." The Prime Minister said when questioned about this on 'Sky News' "The show is vital for our immigration strategy. It is sold around the world and shows Johnny Foreigner that we have total contempt for him and all his kind. He will not be welcome and if he comes he will be treated in the same way Jeremy and chums treat a Caravan. Put bluntly it shows the rest of the world that Britain hates Foreigners and we set them alight."

The revelation about 'Top Gear' came when an OFCOM investigation into phone voting on 'Celebrity Big Brother' was stopped by the Home Office. This led to an investigation by Media Watch that exposed the government as using TV shows to deter people from coming to the UK. Manipulating the result of 'Celebrity Big Brother' so that Jim 'Nik Nik' Davidson won to give overseas viewers the impression that he is a role model for the nation.

The Taxpayers Alliance have demanded a full investigation of the funding for 'Top Gear' but have been given a cease and desist order gagging them as part of new laws that were passed by the House of Lords earlier this week that neuter protest groups.

Jeremy Clarkson in a statement said: "I'm happy to be doing my bit to free this country from the tyranny of culture from abroad. I will not stop till every true blue British man shows his colours by wearing denim on denim all day every day."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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