Majority of Americans Spent Last Week of December Ignoring Family Members on Smartphones
Anywhere U.S.A.---In an unprecendented scientific study conducted by a idiotic research team at Pace University, it was discovered that 88% of Americans spent the majority of their time off from work during the last week of December ignoring family m...
Read full storyRumours of marriage problems threaten to overshadow Michelle Obama's 50th birthday
The foreign press are abuzz with the news that not everything is not well at the White House. Perhaps it's more than political bickering that has turned the President hair white. Although the press here is 90% pro-Obama, this isn't so in other...
Read full storyThe Army Game: 2014
It's non-lateral thinking time from the lads at the Ministry of Defence it would seem, after recent widespread and punitive cuts to Britain's armed Forces it appears there is now a shortfall, excluding the girl guides and the WVS of course. Thus,...
Read full storyMan Declared Dead Days Before Suddenly Wakes Up in Morgue
A man has amazed doctors and workers at a hospital by waking up after being declared dead two days before. The family had waited till several family members could arrive to hold the funeral in Nairobi, Kenya. Meanwhile a worker at the morgue b...
Read full story"Woman After Three-Hour Orgasm- Like Too Much Dessert Plus More Dessert!"
Although many ladies say they couldn't imagine it being a bad thing, Liz in Seattle says that it's not for the first 15-30 minutes but after that it wasn't great at all. She told an A&E audience that she was trying everything and it wouldn't s...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth II grants pardons for all Australians for farting, belching and all transportation offences
The Queen has issued a slightly puzzling "Royal Pardon" to all of the residents of Australia. The pardon was delivered to the House of Commons on New Years Day by a footman. William Hague and Theresa May are said to have set teams of analysts to work...
Read full storyThe U.S. Post Office and McDonald's Join Hands
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Post Office Department has just announced that they have worked out a deal with the number one fast food franchise in the world; McDonald's. The USPO in an effort to bring in more revenue has agreed to put a Mc...
Read full storyTom Cruise to Ditch Scientology for Children of God
Tom Cruise announced today that he was quitting the Church of Scientology to join the Children of God. The Children of God, who also call themselves Family International or Family of Love, have long been known as kind of a Christian sex cult, who be...
Read full storyAmerican Shyster Lawyers Association ready to dump Steven Donziger
New York - A trade union set up specially to cater for the professional needs of bent US lawyers is readying to throw one of its top members to the dogs as New York braces itself for Judge Lewis Kaplan's imminent judgement in the Chevron Rico suit.
Read full storyOprah grooms Michelle for 2016 Senate bid
Hawaii - "Uh, please don't use the term groom, it's got connotations," a stable hand at Oprah Winfrey's $30 million, eleven bedroom Maui pad said today amid reports about Michelle Obama's impending Senate tilt went viral on the web. The US First L...
Read full storyA-Rod's Lost Season: His Top 10 To-Do List
New York - - Slapped with a full season suspension by major league baseball, Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez has wasted no time in creating a productive agenda for his year out of the lineup. Here are the top 10 action items on A-Rod's A-list: 1. Write an autobiography. Working title: "Stop Needling Me." 2. Check the ObamaCare website for a better performance-enhancing drug plan. 3. Purch...
Read full storySydney voted too silly a name for Australia's new image
The South Eastern seaboard City of Sydney in Australia is to change its name by popular vote to Godfrey Eggbert City. The name Sydney is considered too sissy a name for Australia's stingray hugging crocodile embracing new image. The new name...
Read full storyMan Who Survived Sharknado Killed by Polar Bear Vortex
Fort Lauderdale,FL.-A man from California, who survived a freak storm last summer in which great white sharks were swept up in water spouts inside a hurricane and deposited in a flooded area of Los Angeles, wasn't so lucky this time. Fredrick Wha...
Read full storyThe Queen takes down Kanye West in New Rap
Oh Kanye West, how will you entertain us next? If you're not calling yourself Yeezus, (and if you're wondering like I did; no, that is not the name of a Shakespearian tour bus, or a town crier's "street" name) you are dipping your toes in the media with some memorable; arguably egotistical; I mean eloquent, remarks. But we kinda like him anyway. Like that Uncle you only see during the holida...
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