Tom Cruise to Ditch Scientology for Children of God

Written by Al N.

Sunday, 12 January 2014

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How about putting it here for Jesus?

Tom Cruise announced today that he was quitting the Church of Scientology to join the Children of God. The Children of God, who also call themselves Family International or Family of Love, have long been known as kind of a Christian sex cult, who believe in religious prostitution, including using sex as an instrument to induce others to join the cult. They were also accused of child molestation until they denounced it in 1980, 18 years after they started.

The Children of God feel that being bi is okay for women, as long as there is a guy around. Members of the cult are encouraged to think of Jesus while they are having sex.

When asked about the strange tenets of his new cult, Mr. Cruise commented, "They're not anywhere close to as crazy as the last cult I was in."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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