TSA X-rayed her breast milk but mom gets last squeeze
Stacy Armato says agents gave her a HARD time when she asked that they please not X-ray her breast milk at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in 2010. ABC says, "She pleaded for an alternate way to screen it" But an unidentified source said the...
Read full storyGreenest Man Ever? By Having No Impact on World, New York Man Dies with NO Carbon Footprint
During his lifetime, New York City resident Mike Putnam was never known to be much of an environmentalist, but, posthumously, he's gained repute as one of the greenest people ever to populate the planet, having managed to leave this world without leaving any carbon footprint whatsoever - largely by not having had even the slightest impact on the world. Simply put, if Putnam is remembered at all...
Read full storyMayday! Mayday! Queen diagnosed 'brain dead' in daft porkpie hat
Cardiff, Wales - A royal Zimmer Frame totter-about came to an abrupt end today when Queen Elizabeth was declared 'brain dead' in one of her daft asymmetrical hats. Palace embalmers swooped in droves at the news, each bearing official mummificatio...
Read full storyMan Shags Susan Boyle In Major Random Act of Kindness
An average looking man has reportedly carried out the ultimate random act of kindness by having sexual intercourse with Susan Boyle at her most recent gig. The breaking of Boyle's walls is the most recent in a long line of random acts of kindness...
Read full story'Better Business Bureau' Changes Name to 'Who Knows Business Bureau'
Arlington, VA - The Better Business Bureau (BBB) is changing its name to "Who Knows Business Bureau" (WKBB). The change comes after the BBB gave itself a less-than-stellar rating at how it handles customer complaints when that customer files a compl...
Read full story9 Year Old Arrested For Faking Her Continued Belief In Santa Claus
Huntington, W.Va. - A local nine year old girl was arrested yesterday after her parents realized the girl had been faking her belief in Santa Claus as a ruse to get more Christmas presents, and to ensure that the presents she received were more fun.
Read full storyMcDonald's Introduces "Taco" Bell Ad Featuring Burger-Coveting Illegals
LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, ARIZONA -- In a fast food counter attack, McDonald's is launching a commercial featuring 12 everyday illegal aliens from Arizona named "Taco" Bell being arrested by authorities. "My name is Ernesto 'Taco' Bell," said one man f...
Read full storyGood Boring Britain
ITV's new flagship breakfast show "Good Morning Britain" rolled out yesterday and, as with anything, it proved to be a bitter disappointment. The show, spearheaded by Susanna Reid, promised to revolutionise breakfast TV but only really resulted in lo...
Read full storyMax Clifford V Dignity
Max Clifford was found guilty of several "historical sexual assaults" yesterday, or the day before that or the day before that, it really depends on when your reading this. Appearing outside the courthouse after the verdict had been announced Max loo...
Read full storyHarry Styles Horror
We at Back and to the Left news, through our fair and balanced reporting, have made a huge amount of contacts in the showbiz world. These include the best friend of the sister of that lady who came 8th on Britain's Got Talent in 2008. You know which...
Read full storyStop! In The Name Of Search!
A government study has discovered that 1/3 of all police "stop and searches" are illegal. The searches have been carried out (despite being signed off by a senior officer) without any "due reason" and innocent people have been searched only because t...
Read full storyDonald Sterling Joins "Seinfeld" Reunion Cast As "Chili Racist"
ON THE WHITE SIDE OF TOWN, NEW YORK CITY -- After the NBA banned him for life for racist remarks, Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling has turned to acting, accepting a role in the upcoming "Seinfeld" reunion special on NBC. Sterling will pl...
Read full storyBilly Crystal and Meg Ryan to Reunite for "When Harry Met Cialis"
HOLLYWOOD--Rob Reiner, director of the highly acclaimed romantic comedyWhen Harry Met Sally, announced today that he is bringing back Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in a sequel to the original film called When Harry Met Cialis. This story picks up tw...
Read full storyTesco Allocates New Parking Bays For The Selfish
Tesco announced today that it is introducing new car parking areas specifically for those of a selfish disposition. The designated spaces will be added on to the ends of existing rows in Tesco's car parks and marked with cross hatching. The schem...
Read full storyPrime Monster told to shut up over Obama campaign guru David Axelrod
London - And it's curtains for the fascist UK PM as the Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, told the packed lower House that David Cameron 'is finished' amid controversial David Axelrod remarks. "He can take it from me he is finished!,"...
Read full storyBinge Drinking Now Recommended By Government
The government's commissioned report into the possible beneficial effects of weekend " Binge" drinking suggests massive benefits to the NHS and Police Forces. The new vitamin drink, "Binge" is a healthy drink made from 5 a day vegetables and fruit...
Read full storyDonald Sterling Banned For Life From Every Organization With Initials
Chicago - Not only has embattled owner of the LA Clippers basketball team, Donald Sterling, been banned for life from the NBA for his racist remarks, but virtually every other organization in America that is widely known by their initials have banned...
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