Donald Sterling Banned For Life From Every Organization With Initials

Written by E. Williams

Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Chicago - Not only has embattled owner of the LA Clippers basketball team, Donald Sterling, been banned for life from the NBA for his racist remarks, but virtually every other organization in America that is widely known by their initials have banned him as well.

The NFL, MLB, UPS, IBM, NHL, all four of the main television networks, KFC, TCBY, the BBC, ESPN, HBO, BMW, JVC, RCA, QVC, WWE and many others have vowed to never do business with the billionaire asshole ever again.

H&R Block released a statement saying they were 'close enough' with initials in part of their name and would never do the dumbasses taxes ever again.

USPS said they would probably still have to deliver mail to the bastard but they didn't have to like it. Postal employee Newman, from Seinfeld, said he would only deliver Pottery Barn catalogs to Sterling's house if it was on his route. "I would only deliver crap nobody needs to the old coot!" he said.

AT&T sounded determined to drop any phone calls Sterling tried to make on their cellular network - like they already do for the majority of their customers. So it's basically business as usual for them.

The only company with initials who was already boycotting Sterling following his comments was CNN. Since they have found no link between his racist remarks and the missing Malaysian airplane, the network is prohibited from talking about the bigot on the air.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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