America's Oldest Surfer Is 103

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 30 September 2013

image for America's Oldest Surfer Is 103
103-year-old Claire says that her beach shoes were given to her by Mrs. Richard Nixon back on Christmas of 1973.

MALIBU BEACH - Malibu Beach is a surfers paradise noted for its long lazy point breaks and ideal wind conditions.

Malibu Beach is also where on the weekends you can find one of the most popular surfers on the Left Coast, Claire Lemonfire who just happens to be 103.

Granny Claire as the locals call her has been surfing since she was 3-years-old and is listed in the record books as the oldest surfer in the United States.

Many surfing aficionados say that she could also probably be the oldest surfer in the entire world although there is another female surfer in Australia who claims to be 104, but she says she lost her birth certificate during World War II.

Granny Claire says that she has appeared on just about every talk show in America and has been to the White House twice.

She said that the first time she got to meet Betty White, who she said at the age of 91, is a young whippersnapper.

SIDENOTE: Claire Lemonfire an excellent surfer and her surfing pals say she still wears a bikini swimsuit. She has a tattoo of a surfboard tattooed on her bikini line.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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