US drones to patrol London terror hot spots
London - Fresh from Idaho sheep herding duties a consignment of six US unmanned combat air vehicles is enroute to London on emergency deployment following a Brit squaddie's machete attack murder outside Woolwich Barracks on Wednesday. Announcing t...
Read full storyGermany, second most loved country on the planet after North Korea!
A BBC poll has revealed that Germany is now the second most popular country on the planet after North Korea. The North Koreans pipped the Germans at the post because their leader, Kim Jong Un, looks like a cuddly Teddy Bear and Angela Merkel resemble...
Read full storyA Forking Dilemma
The guiding principle for my life's conduct has been this choral refrain from Gilbert and Sullivan's Princess Ida: "Isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at!" I certainly do have a plethora of material to inspire such grumbling, including TV's talking heads, natural and man-made catastrophes, and my Republican friends, among others. But the most recent grumble has...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo joins mega-rich Stoke City
Cristiano Ronaldo made the biggest decision of his life by joining former manager Sir Alex Ferguson(who lied about his retirement)to Stoke City.The club issued a statement that Cristiano has agreed a 8.5 million year deal last night.The former Real M...
Read full story75% of Angels Believe Americans Are Really, Really Gullible
In recent polling by the Phew Research Center for Celestial Affairs, nearly three-fourths of the angels polled in a survey indicated that they think Americans who believe that guardian angels watch over everything they do day in and day out are eithe...
Read full storyCeltics Sign Pope Francis as New Point Guard
VATICAN CITY- In a shameless move to win a papal dispensation, the Boston Celtics signed Pope Francis as a replacement for Kevin Garnett. The Celtics don't expect the Pope, who will wear Number One, to walk on water, but they do expect him to perf...
Read full storySherlock Goes on Drunken Spoiler Spree
Sherlock actor Benedict Cumberbatch was found clinging to a lamp post in London last night, blabbing about the plots in the upcoming third series of Sherlock. The BBC has had him arrested and held by the police until he sobers up. This has caused...
Read full storyUseless signs - part 2
As I continue to wander round this green and pleasant land, I have seen many a sign. These are normally yellow and inform me that the reason it's taking ages to get anywhere, is because there is a lane closed in Birmingham. Most signs are useful. They provide important information, such as if you drive round the next bend at your current speed, you will fly off the edge of a cliff and discover if...
Read full storyStudies Show Ritalin Really Works!
DES MOINES- A study from the University of Des Moines was conducted recently to learn about the true effects of Ritalin on children and teens. One student by the same of Harry Christiansen hypothesized that Ritalin works only because of the Placebo E...
Read full storyDerek Hough and Kellie Pickler Win The Dancing With The Stars Mirror Ball Trophy
HOLLYWOOD - Little country music singing sensation Kellie Pickler is not only a great singer she can now also say she is a great dancer as her and her dance partner Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough have won this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars...
Read full storyJoan Rivers Caught Skinny Dipping In New York City's East River
NEW YORK CITY - In a story that certainly fits the you gotta see it to believe it cliché, comedian Joan Rivers, 79, was caught swimming au naturel in the East River. When NYPD officers approached Ms. Rivers they noticed a faint smell of Scotch com...
Read full storyCheryl Cole and Adele To Record A Song Written By Paul McCartney
LOS ANGELES - Ryan Seacrest has just broken the news that Adele and Cheryl Cole will soon be going into the recording studio to record a song that was written especially for them by Paul McCartney. Seacrest said that Cheryl called him up and told...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Stresses She Is Not Addicted To Food or Sex
NEW YORK CITY - Kirstie Alley, the hefty celebrity who has appeared on two seasons of Dancing With The Stars, made an appearance on The Viagra View. Right off the bat Larry King asked her about the rumors going around that she has been texting Mak...
Read full storyNicki Minaj Furious That Her Detroit Concert Was Cancelled
DETROIT - Hip hop rapper Nicki Minaj, who also is one of the judges on American Idol, is very upset due to the fact that her scheduled concert which was to have taken place in The Carburetor Coliseum has suddenly been cancelled. The concert was to...
Read full storyChad Ochocinco - From The Dolphins to The Jailbirds
FT. LAUDERDALE, Florida - Chad Johnson, or Chad Ochocinco as he is known in the wide, wide world of sports, was arrested by the FLPD. According to Sporting Chance Magazine, Ochocinco was handcuffed after a neighbor reported that he had been playin...
Read full storyKatie Holmes Says She's Lonely And Needs A Boyfriend
NEW YORK CITY - A close friend of Katie Holmes says that she is just not the same since she divorced Tom Cruise. The friend who did not want to give her name but did give her nickname; Salsa, said that she is really concerned for her friend. Ka...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan To Auction Off Bras and Panties To Help Pay For Her Rehab Stay
LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan has now been at The Henry & Betty Ford Clinic for three weeks. And the Hollywood starlet is reportedly so bored she is starting to chew on the bedspread. An unnamed source said that Lindsay pretty much keeps to hers...
Read full storyElin Nordegren Hates Tiger Woods So Much She's Hired A Voodoo Woman
JUPITER ISLAND, Florida - Close friends of Tiger Woods' ex-wife Elin Nordegren are reporting that the Swedish beauty is furious at the semi-naked public antics of her former philandering husband and his new girlfriend Lindsey Vonn, 28. Friends are...
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