Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 23 May 2013

image for Elin Nordegren Hates Tiger Woods So Much She's Hired A Voodoo Woman
Elin Nordegren loves staying at the luxurious Hotel Ooh La La in New Orleans. (Photo courtesy of Cindy McCain).

JUPITER ISLAND, Florida - Close friends of Tiger Woods' ex-wife Elin Nordegren are reporting that the Swedish beauty is furious at the semi-naked public antics of her former philandering husband and his new girlfriend Lindsey Vonn, 28.

Friends are saying that Elin is extremely jealous at the fact that the 37-year-old gigolo golfer is openly flaunting his sensuous relationship with the World Cup Alpine ski racer in front of the entire world as well as her and Tiger Boy's two kids.

Elin, 33, recently told Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight that truth be told Vonn's boobs are nowhere as beautiful as hers.

Nordegren went on to say that she also has the fake blonde skier beat in the legs department, the butt department, and definitely in the IQ department.

When told by de Gallo that there is really nothing that she can do about Tiger and Lindsey's openly intimate relationship Elin grinned and revealed that a few days before she had flown down to Lake Charles, Louisiana.

She said that she met with the world's top voodoo woman, Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette, and she has cast a magic spell that will cause the black and white lovebirds to break up.

SIDENOTE: Elin stated that Madam Lafayette is so sure of her spell casting powers that she guaranteed Nordegren that Tiger and Lindsey will break up by July 1, or she will give her double her evil spell fee back.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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