Evil Killer Cheese Chemical, Annato, Steals Pizza From Asthma Sufferers
Millions of asthmatics all over the world have signed a petition to ban the food colouring Annato. The evil chemical is the best friend of the peanut and it is responsible for a sudden country wide epidemic of food allergies. The epidemic has resul...
Read full storyHurricane hits Warsaw and kills nobody!
Warsaw,Poland: Hurricane Erskine hit Warsaw over the Whit weekend and killed nobody, damaged no buildings, but hit the Warsaw Book Fair with some very turbulent sex waves! In fact the impact of Hurricane Erskine Esq. hitting the city was so extrem...
Read full storyRuling Authority announces first congressional draft
In its first pick in the new congressional draft, the Ruling Authority selected Arnold Sayers of New Ipswitch, Maine. The thirty-eight year old plumber was dragged kicking and screaming from his home to replace Senator Jeff Sessions of Alabama, also...
Read full storyObama Administration to Establish New Department of Truth
In view of the recent scandals and persistent questions from the press and Republicans demanding that the White House explain variations in its responses on a host of so-called scandals - from Benghazi to the wiretapping of Associated Press reporters...
Read full storyAtos canonised by the Catholic Church
Atos, the French company that has been charged by the Department for Work And Pensions to determine the disability payments for the people of the UK will be canonised by the Catholic church after a criticism from leader of the opposition, Ed Milliban...
Read full storyBenghazi - Space Aliens Admit Dropping Obama Brain
WASHINGTON, DC - On the afternoon of September 11, 2012, the White House began pre-party warmups, unaware of an impending attack in Benghazi, Libya. Young staffers, election strategists, and political aides walked through the halls, pointing at each...
Read full storyKid Rock Attacks Lip Syncers - Britney Spears Tells Him To Mind His Own Damn Business
LAS VEGAS - Kid Rock, who at times acts like he could be Gary Busey's long lost twin, offended a lot of singers at the Billboard Music Awards with his remark about lip syncing. Rocky, as Joan "The Moan" Rivers calls him, sarcastically said that he...
Read full storyFrance Announces That The Eiffel Tower Will Become A Clothes-Optional Landmark
PARIS - France's national news agency Le News Agency has just announced a new French law that will take effect on Tuesday, May 28. Gigi de Maupassant, a reporter for Le News stated that due to the declining number of tourists visiting the world fa...
Read full storySouth Dakota Shuts Down All North Korean Restaurants
PIERRE, South Dakota - In an unprecedented move that has not occurred in South Dakota since back in the 60s, the governor has issued a Governor's Directive closing down all North Korean restaurants. A spokesperson speaking from the steps of the go...
Read full storyDwight Howard Said He May Leave The Lakers And Sign With The Cleveland Cavaliers
LOS ANGELES - Dwight Howard spoke with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said that he has dribbled his last ball as a Los Angeles Laker. Howard told Rufus Reno with SBID that he just cannot take another year of playing for the Laker Day Care Cent...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson To Be Released From Prison
LAS VEGAS - Many people were shocked to learn that O.J. Simpson, who was sentenced to serve 33 years in prison, could be released by Labor Day. A spokesperson for Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center stated that Simpson, who has ballooned up to 3...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards
LAS VEGAS - Millions of viewers watched as Taylor Swift cleaned up at the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Sin City, USA. Taylor won a total of 8 awards including Top Female Artist, Top Country Artist, Top Country Album, Top...
Read full storyBritain's Double Decker Buses To Be Replaced
LONDON - Britain's Bus Bureau, known as the BBB, has just announced that it is in the process of starting to eliminate all double decker buses. Reginald F. Quibbenshire, a spokesperson for BBB stated that since the numbers of people riding public…
Read full storyUtah Says Anyone Caught Exhibiting A Tramp Stamp Will Be Fined
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - Sixty-two percent of the citizens of Utah are Mormons. According to a recent survey taken by The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company, 61.9 percent of those individuals are extremely dedicated to their religion. Mormons...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Shocked At Being Booed By The Billboard Music Awards Audience
LAS VEGAS - The little singer from north of the border, Justin Bieber, received a rude awakening when he was booed by the Billboard Music Awards audience. The event which was held at The MGM Grand Garden Arena was viewed by millions of television...
Read full storyBoston Celtics Player Arrested For Brandishing A Handgun - He Says It Was A Water Pistol
KENT, Washington - Boston Celtics guard Terrence Williams (#55) spent last year playing basketball in China, and the way things look he may end up back in the land where Chinese food was invented. According to Sporting Chance Magazine, the mother...
Read full storyAndy Dick Infatuated With Katy Perry's Boobs
LA BREA - One of Hollywood's newest and most unlikeliest couples Katy Perry and Andy Dick were spotted having dinner at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Fellow patrons reported that Perry was wearing a blouse that was so low cut that both...
Read full storyMan In Des Moines Wants To Marry Goat
The issue of gay marriage is a very hot topic right now with two, and only two, sides to the argument. One side says homosexuals should be allowed to marry, while the other side says it's repulsive and will lead to people marrying animals just becaus...
Read full story