
An Obnoxious American Gives His Snide Opinions On European Football and Not Only Gets Booted From the European Union, Banned From England But Gets Butted Off The Spoof Website Too.
It is time to take the opportunity to take you folks in England (and you in Scotland and Ireland too for that matter) to task on this thing you call 'European Football' God only knows somebody needs to, so I'll take this heavy responsibility on my shoulders. The main gripe I have is this silliness that you dare to call football (you undoubtedly stole this name from our proud game). What a load...
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Health & Safety Executive Announce Ban On Shaving
"Razors have sharp edges" stated H&S Executive Everard Fortescue today after the release of a shocking shock report on shaving accidents in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. "People are bleeding" says Mr Fortescue - "an...
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Justin Bieber Reveals What he Meant by Saying "Journalists were Saying the Worst Thing".
Friends of Justin Bieber have tonight revealed what Justin meant when he cryptically tweeted that he snapped at journalists today because they were "Saying the Worst thing". The friend who wishes to be known only as LA said "Those journalists are...
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Tyler Seguin Keeps on Dancing
Leave it to Boston's favorite slob to prove he is a master of the photobomb. During some free time between games, Boston Bruin Tyler Seguin was on the ice for some positive PR. Winner of a contest to spend a few breathless moments with Seguin f...
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PlayGuy Magazine Names Stacy Keibler's Legs, The Best Looking Legs In Hollywood
HOLLYWOOD - George Clooney is walking around on Cloud 9 and it is all due to the love of his life, the stunningly gorgeous and sensuously sexy girlfriend Stacy Keibler. The 33-year-old Keibler has just been named by PlayGuy Magazine as having The...
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The Demi Moore - Ashton Kutcher Divorce: Moore Says It's Not About Money, It's About Revenge
LOS ANGELES - Demi Moore is 50 years old and she like thousands of women, openly married a much younger man in hopes that he would make her feel years and years younger. But as studies have shown, May-December marriages very rarely work out becaus...
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Chelsea Handler Fires a Sarcastic Salvo at Angelina Jolie
HOLLYWOOD - Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors stated that Chelsea Handler seems to relish being in the feudistic mode spotlight. She added that the 38-year-old talk show host just doesn't seem to be happy unless she is degrading, demeaning, insulti...
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President Obama: Kim Jong Un Better Settle Down Before I Turn North Korea Into A Parking Lot
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has stated that he has just about had enough barking from that little Shih Tzu pup AKA Kim Jong Un. The president has said that if Kimette keeps on talking like a crazed escapee from the Pyongyang Loony Bin then...
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New York miraculously not destroyed following arraignment of bin Laden's son-in-law in civilian court
NEW YORK, NY--A thankful relief hangs over the city today, after the revelation that Sulaiman Abu Ghaith, al-Qaeda spokesperson and son-in-law of Osama bin Laden, was arraigned in civilian court yesterday, amazingly without a single loss of life...
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Cameron rebuked by OBR for quoting the fairies he is away with
After a complaint from the independent Office for Budget Responsibility yesterday, the Coalition has sought to disprove that David Cameron said that black was white and misquoted the OBR. A Coalition spokesman today made it 'absolutely clear' that Mr Cameron has not been telling any lies, fibs or porkies, but merely adhering to a new Coalition lexicon to standardise political statements. T...
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Comet Pan-STARRS 'may be an extraterrestrial drone' out to get Obama
Washington - "Could it be be a National Rifle Association Second Amendment acquisition?" the President demanded of US Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel in an emergency conference call today as Comet Pan-STARRS became visible in Northern Hemisphere skies.
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Dennis Rodman Visit Caused Nuclear War Threat After Gangnam Style Confusion
Dennis Rodman's recent visit to North Korea is the main reason why the world stands on the brink of nuclear war and millions of North and South Korean troops are mobilizing and massing on the border of the divided country. North Korean leader Ki...
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Samuel Beckett Re-writes Waiting for Godot for Red Sox
A new production of Waiting for Godot will open in Boston, Mass., this April at Fenway Park. After years of waiting for a more relevant play from Josh Beckett, the Red Sox traded him. Now the Boston theater scene has grown tired of waiting for a w...
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Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet
CELTICS NATION-Kevin Garnett hit a three pointer for the second game in a row. This has been treated in some circles like a man coming out of the proverbial closet wearing a feather boa. The shock has been palatable. Fans in Celtic Nation have beg...
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