Kevin Garnett's Big Secret is Out of the Closet

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Saturday, 9 March 2013

CELTICS NATION-Kevin Garnett hit a three pointer for the second game in a row. This has been treated in some circles like a man coming out of the proverbial closet wearing a feather boa.

The shock has been palatable. Fans in Celtic Nation have begun to wonder why he has not shot 3-pointers for the past 18 years.

This new deadly weapon, a shocking knife into the heart of the opposition, seems to have come out of nowhere.

Garnett himself seemed nonplussed by the hullabaloo. He insisted, yes, he can shoot from beyond the great arc.

When press and media types started flying around him like gnats, the tall Garboesque Garnett finally showed some exasperation.

Yes, he can shoot for three points. It is not some secret weapon or shocking new addition to his arsenal. He has played the game and knows his way around the basket.

As the star Celtics powerful forward insisted, "You guys all are acting shocked like you haven't seen a black guy hit a 3 before."

Perhaps that conclusion is a bit over the top, but the media clearly has not seen a tall, lanky inside player go way out into no man's land to prove his mettle.

As a man who plots every move in his game, like a prima ballerina learning how to best dance the Rites of Spring, Garnett prefers to have this part of his game ignored. You cannot have a secret weapon is everyone in the NBA is now waiting for it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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