Manu Ginobili Blames The San Antonio Spurs Loss On LeBron James' Damn Headband
MIAMI - San Antonio Spurs guard Manu Ginobili sat in the Spurs locker room after losing game six in the NBA Finals, feeling dejected and looking like Wynonna Judd who had just seen someone take that last biscuit from the biscuit basket. Manu's tea...
Read full storyLeBron James Said Acting Like Kobe Bryant Fired Up His Miami Heat Teammates
MIAMI - The Miami Heat defeated the San Antonio Spurs 103-100 in overtime in game six to tie things up at three victories each pushing the NBA finals to a game seven. After the game James was asked by Sports Balls Illustrated Daily's Rufus Reno wh...
Read full storyAn Alaskan Helicopter Company Tells Sarah Palin, "No More Free Rides"
WASILLA, Alaska - It appears that Sarah Palin's free helicopter hunting rides are riding off into the sunset like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans did in so many western films. Cunningham "Caribou" Carbinfeister owner of The Chicka Chicka Helicopter Comp...
Read full storyNASA, a Mosquito-Sized WMD, a Dulicimer Player, and the Shooters Girls
My dulcimer sits in the corner of my one-room camper looking like my out-of-touch, sarcastic, abusive freshman English Comp Instructor, Mr. Feducious Flynt. A ragged, ratty, bony thing, it's absolutely hideous. I haven't played the dulcimer in ages.
Read full storyThe Amazing New Reason Why Illegal Aliens Are Staying Away From The U.S.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Immigration has just made a statement that is related to the recent NSA Phone Scandal. A spokesperson for the USDI Beulah Lucy Tiggyworth, 53, stated that The U.S. Border Patrol is reporting that...
Read full storySchwarzenegger to "Terminate"" at 65!
Arny Schwarzenegger, 65, has decided to "Terminate" for the last time hoping the public will forgive him for his broom cupboard misdemeanours, the fact that he's an OAP and wears more make up than Marilyn Manson! His latest blockbusting "terminati...
Read full storyChad Ochocinco Leaves Prison A Changed Man
BROWARD COUNTY, Florida - Former NFL football player Chad Johnson AKA Chad Ochocinco walked out of the Broward Country Jail after only serving 7 days of a 30 day sentence. According to an inside source (no pun intended) Ochocinco was let out early...
Read full story48 Hurt When Car Jumps Curb, Plows into East Village 7-11 After Accident: FDNY
A driver lost control of his Nissan Leaf after it was struck by lightning, and ran in to the front of a Seven-Eleven store in East Village. New York firemen were not aware of the extent of the damage until they investigated a basement area and locate...
Read full storyPaula Deen - The Kitchen Queen Denies That She Recently Used The "N" Word
NEW YORK CITY - Paula Deen flew to New York City from her Southern mansion in Savannah, Georgia to do a bit of damage control. The Southern cooking show maven appeared on The Viagra View with Regis Philbin and Larry King. According to American...
Read full storyArnold Schwarzenegger Explains Why He Decided To Film Terminator 5
HOLLYWOOD - Arnold Schwarzenegger, the former governor of California, has just made a motion picture announcement to the entertainment media. The 65-year-old ex-champion body builder said that he has agreed to star in Terminator 5. He remarked...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Confesses She Hates The World of Drugs
BEVERLY HILLS - Miley Cyrus is still quite devastated at the fact that her parents Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus are getting divorced. The ex-Hannah Montana star told Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that she is so upset she cannot stop ea...
Read full storyA List of Lindsay Lohan's 10 Favorite Bars
It is no secret that Hollywood starlet Lindsay Lohan loves to take a drink every now and then, and now and then, and now and then. Lohan has been referred to as a celebrity camel who has a propensity for consuming alcohol that is pretty much unrivaled in the land of broken bright light dreams known as Tinsel Town. Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo recently sat down with the freckle-face...
Read full storyOrgasmic loud shriek
The traffic down the so-called expressway was clogged. It lasted several minutes before got moving. When my car reached the congested spot, I saw a very conspicuous Porsche Panamera with a piece of worn-out-torn-out jacket stuck under the left front wheel. A few yards behind the car, there lay a corps, covered with dried-up streaks of blood. Skin color, due to loss of blood and time of death, in t...
Read full storyLady Ga is certainly GaGa!
Mad hat pop diva, Lady Ga Ga, has announced that she is head over heels (not hills) in love with Erskine Quint, intrepid adventurer and very mercurial stud. Jean-Paul Gaultier told Lady about this British aristocratic, super-human hero, after seei...
Read full storyGamekeepers get tigrish
London, United Kingdom. In news rapidly evolving over eons, the gamekeepers of Her Majesty's parks and reserves have voted to go on strike for 48 hours effective midnight Thursday to agitate for a 2% increase in pay which would bring them in line wit...
Read full storyObama's Department of Education Proposes New System of Monoversities
Given the entrenched left wing tendency of most current institutions of higher learning and the concerns of the political left establishment that conservative views -- also known as extreme right wing views - are disturbing and harmful to the develop...
Read full storyNo BS: Sarah Palin Announces She'll Rejoin FOX News
On FOX and Fiends Sarah Palin announced that she will rejoin the network most evenings on a show she's calling Sarah Palin Disseminates the Lamestream Media. Explained Palin: "I will provide a prospectus that you don't ordinarily get from the l...
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