Jihadist Recruitment Declines Upon Revelation that Number of Virgins was Grossly Exaggerated
According to The Jihadist Daily, recent recruitment of suicide bombers has declined sharply following the revelation by Tamir Abd ul-Karim that there are fewer than 72 virgins awaiting the martyr in Paradise. "It's more like three and they're old an...
Read full storyLeaked! Future King of England to be named---Bob!
A stunned and outraged UK reacted today as leaked reports from inside Buckingham Palace revealed that the new baby born of Prince William and Kate Middleton would be named---Bob! An anonymous source within the palace states that Queen Elizabeth u...
Read full storyPrince George Bush named after his GOP warmonger great uncle
London - An Iraq War pact signed in blood by the Poodle Brothers sees Kate and William's infant son named after his father's paternal uncle President George W Bush. According to the UK Serious Fraud Squad the baby - which has zero chance of ever s...
Read full storyCameron Calls Referendum on Divine Right of Kings
Hot on the heels of the birth of the so-called "royal baby", Prime Minister "Do Nothing Dave" Cameron emerged blinking from his Downing Street bunker today, to reveal his latest wheeze intended to unite his ailing ragbag party of neo-fascists, asset...
Read full storyRep. Steve King Seen Limping Along in Washington with his Foot in his Mouth
Rep. Steve King, awhile back, opined, "White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive? . . . . Why did I sit in classes teaching me about the merits of our history and our civilization?" After the...
Read full storyA man In Kuala Lumpur Can't Care Less About The Royal Baby
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. -Following the very normal and unimportant event of the newly born baby in England, all media and news agencies scratched the limit of their limited imagination to come up with a different headline to this tedious silly no big...
Read full storyBashar Al-assad Approval Rating At a New Level Low
Damascus, Syria. President Bashar Al-assad's popularity is in an increasing decline. The 47 year old dictator was shocked to hear that most of the Syrian people disagree with his policies, especially those that aim to slay any opposition to his rule...
Read full story'It's All In The Fate Line' as palmists declare Baby Cambridge 'Will Never Be King'
London - "Just like his father Wills," an official Palace palm reader commented as zoom lens close-ups of Baby Cambridge's mitts went viral on the net today. Decoding of nascent tracks on the infant's hands has revealed the same muddled crisscross...
Read full storyPaula Deen To Appear With Larry King and Regis Philbin On The Viagra View
NEW YORK CITY - Larry King and Regis Philbin have both said that even though most of the nation now considers Paula Deen a persona non grata they are willing to let her have her say on their top-rated talk show The Viagra View. King, who is 79, sa...
Read full storyKellie Pickler Denies She's Having Derek Hough's Baby
NASHVILLE - Kellie Pickler has had to address the rumors that she and Derek Hough have become more than just dancing partners and BFF's. The petite country music singer who recently won Dancing With The Stars coveted Mirror Ball Trophy by capturin...
Read full storyElton John Wants To Be Kate and William's New Baby's Godfather
NEW YORK CITY - Elton John was in New York City shopping for a certain brand of boa that is only sold in the Big Apple. As he was shopping he was asked by Ashburn Wasabi with The Right Coast Revue what he thought about William and Kate's new baby...
Read full storyStacy Keilber Makes It Very Clear She Has No Desire To Date Russell Brand
BEVERLY HILLS - Now that Stacy Keibler is no longer in a relationship, her hair stylist FuFi Fondue has said that the sultry babe with the 42-inch legs is getting all kinds of date offers. Fondue said that the latest to try and put the make on Geo...
Read full storyA Dejected Alec Baldwin Says He Is Thinking About Leaving America and Moving To Portugal
EAST HAMPTON, New York - The fiery-tempered Alec Baldwin has stated that he is tired of being on the front pages of America's newspapers and may decide to leave the good old USA. An inside source told Celebrity Globe that the 55-year-old actor has...
Read full storyKanye West Knocks Photographer Down At LAX
LOS ANGELES - Kanye West's luck may have just run out as he will most probably be sued by a photographer who was pushed to the airport terminal floor by the out-of-control rapper. Several eyewitnesses reported seeing West physically pick up the mu...
Read full storyAmanda Bynes Heading For The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic
LOS ANGELES - The former Nickelodeon star just cannot seem to keep her caboose out of trouble. Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that the 27-year-old quasi-actress has been detained by the LAPD after she reportedly set fire to a neighbor's 60-foot t...
Read full story