Rep. Steve King Seen Limping Along in Washington with his Foot in his Mouth

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

image for Rep. Steve King Seen Limping Along in Washington with his Foot in his Mouth

Rep. Steve King, awhile back, opined, "White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive? . . . . Why did I sit in classes teaching me about the merits of our history and our civilization?" After the controversial remarks, which surprised no one, even in the Republican Party, King was seen limping around Washington fitted with a special set of crutches that allow him to move around the capital with his foot in his mouth.

The remark again set off a wave of disgust and disbelief among Republicans, who (once again) feigned shock that one of their colleagues would ever say anything so blatantly racist.

But Steve King did not stop with racism, defending on Wednesday his position that abortions should be banned even for women who were victims of rape: “What if we went back through all the family trees and just pulled out anyone who was a product of rape or incest? Would there be any population of the world left if we did that? Considering all the wars and all the rapes and pillages that happened throughout all these different nations, I know that I can’t say that I was not a part of a product of that.”

(An anonymous source said that he was pretty sure King was not a product of rape or incest, but might have resulted from a botched abortion, with possible damage to the House Member’s cerebral cortex.)

Politico reports that King's staff is trying to put together some assistive technology that would allow the outspoken Congressman to both do the people's business and talk out of his ass at the same time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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