Repetitive reading sweeping the country
More and more people are beginning to read stuff and then re-read it some time later. Since you've started reading this, even more people have started to read repetitively. Even now, some people will be re-reading the above sentence to make sure...
Read full storySpace firm reveals plans to mine hemorrhoids
Washington - A US space company is planning to carpet-bomb a deep space anomaly known as the Arsehole of the Universe. The alien swelling is located somewhere inside a massive black hole on a Brown Dwarf close to the constellation of Taurus the Bu...
Read full storyMadonna Feeling Miserable
BROOKLYN - It's being reported that Madonna's manicurist has disclosed that the aging songstress has been having some horrendous mood swings as of late. Madonna, who is 54, recently told Hollywood Innuendo that she feels like the music world is st...
Read full storyMasked bank robber escapes with dozens of "Next Window Please" placards
Police say a lone suspect escaped with dozens of "Next Window Please" placards during a tense bank robbery yesterday. "He rushed in when the bank was filled with customers," said First Insolvent Bank manager Libra-Fawn DeMedved. "He grabbed a stapl...
Read full storyMexico Has A Serious Illegal Alien Problem
MEXICO CITY - The Republic of Mexico has just announced that they are having a very serious problem with illegal aliens entering their southern border from Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, and Nicaragua. Laguna Vendetta, a reporter with Mexico's...
Read full storyWelsh Rarebit in Norway gets toasted in tunnel!
A lorry carrying a load of cheese in Norway caught fire in the middle of a tunnel and melted causing a dilemma for Norwegian cheese lovers who rarely have the pleasure because it is a rare product there. The cheese on toast caused severe smoke pro...
Read full storyBeyoncé only got to sing 'because she's Michelle's daughter' according to reports
Washington AC/DC - "That's why Michelle was looking daggers at him during the Inauguration Lunch," Republican House Speaker John Boehner's shoe-shine boy commented today on the decision to cherry-pick popular entertainer Beyoncé Knowles to sing the S...
Read full storyAir Disaster
The coffee maker on an UA wide body threatened horrible passenger death when it stopped heating coffee. The flight crew out of an abundance of caution diverted to Vegas instead of Fargo. The coffee maker was over three years old. Captain Jim Wi...
Read full storyPrince Charles "Immensely Proud" Of Prince Harry - So Is His Father
Prince Charles is said to be "immensely proud" of third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry, telling friends that the young Prince is nothing short of a hero and proudly stands for all things British. Equally praising is Prince Harry's fathe...
Read full storyGisele Bundchen Is Reportedly Hiding In Honduras
CHICAGO - The word out of the Windy City is that New England Patriot Tom Brady's wife, Gisele Bundchen is alleged to be in hiding somewhere in the jungles of Honduras. Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the quick-tempered South American e...
Read full storyNew England Patriots Fined For Wes Welker's Wife's Sore Loser Tirade
NEW YORK CITY - Another disappointing New England loss, another Patriot player's wife has a meltdown. So noted Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily. Last year it was quarterback Tom Brady's supermodel wife Gisele Bundchen, who bitte...
Read full storyKansas Votes To Prohibit The Use of The Term Ménage à Trois
TOPEKA - After a heated debate that lasted six hours, the Kansas State Senate has voted 21 to 19 to prohibit the use of the French sexual term Ménage à Trois. Senator Agatha Tarbutton, 71, of Wichita, initially made the proposal after she was at a...
Read full storyPatriots Find the Pendulum Puts Them into Poe's Pit
As Oliver Hardy often said to Stan Laurel, "Here's another fine mess…" The Dirty Birds won. The Ravens played for the stuff that dreams are made of…and as Humphrey Bogart told us in the Maltese Falcon, you end up with egg on your face-or dead.
Read full storyElin Nordegren Tells Ex-Hubby Tiger Woods: Been There, Done That
NEW YORK CITY - Tiger Woods was sitting by himself at the prestigious Intoxicated Iguana Bar in New York City when he was approached by a reporter. Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors asked him if she could have a few words with him and the man whose re...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder, Nina Dobrev, and A Confused Fan
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The stars of The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder were recently seen having a great time at The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge in West Hollywood. The Tipsy Tadpole is the favorite haunt of many noted Tinsel Town celebrities i...
Read full storyResearchers Discover Why Assad Has No Problem Slaughtering So Many Of His Own People
A psychological investigative group has been studying why trained, professional medical people have been able to turn their back on their helping of their fellow man and resort to barbarianism as evidenced especially in Bashar al-Assad, the dictator...
Read full storyGovernment to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages
Under new plans from The Department of Work and Pensions, part-time workers could receive monthly statements telling them how much better off they would be if they increased their hours. They could also be sent texts telling them that working mor...
Read full storyFirefighters: "We're being discriminated against by impersonators" - Too many police, not enough firefighter impersonators, says union
Just two days after a second man was arrested for allegedly impersonating a police officer, the president of the local firefighters union said his organization is considering filing a lawsuit claiming discrimination against firefighters. "You he...
Read full storyThe Tea Party Strikes Back
Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm a hardcore Republican warrior who will fight for limited government, deregulation, personal responsibility and a balanced budget. As long as we don't have to cut our centralized military that costs more than the next four countries combined. Today's hero of freedom is Dustin Stockton a spokesperson for TheTeaParty.net. Dustin is the kind o...
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