Space firm reveals plans to mine hemorrhoids

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

image for Space firm reveals plans to mine hemorrhoids
Cross an asterism with a hemorrhoid and you get an asteroid

Washington - A US space company is planning to carpet-bomb a deep space anomaly known as the Arsehole of the Universe.

The alien swelling is located somewhere inside a massive black hole on a Brown Dwarf close to the constellation of Taurus the Bullshitter.

Next month the company says it will be re-landscaped by gamma ray-burst colonic irrigation douches.

Those same ex-NASA operatives will then harvest the newly cauterized asteroid of precious 'heavy' metals - like Deep Purple's Dark Slide of the Moonies. [WTF? - 'Ed']

Giant suckers could also help frack the space rocks into position for towing to the newly constructed inflatable dock at the International Space Station.

It is hoped any remaining minerals, ores and sticky oily substances will be siphoned off ahead of relay back to a new spaceport in the Arizona desert.

A barrel of sweet light crude hovers around the $100 mark.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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