Government to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages

Funny story written by Clarity Bell

Tuesday, 22 January 2013

image for Government to Help Workers Boost Earnings by Sending Them Text Messages
The DWP will utilise cutting edge technology.

Under new plans from The Department of Work and Pensions, part-time workers could receive monthly statements telling them how much better off they would be if they increased their hours.

They could also be sent texts telling them that working more hours or getting better paid work would leave them "quids in" when Universal Credit begins to be rolled out later this year.

'Better Off Calculator'

An online calculator could allow claimants to find out within seconds how much better off they would be from boosting their hours. It will be simpler to use than normal calculators, as it will prompt users in what to enter. The calculator will ask the user their hourly wage and how many hours they work per week and will use its secret multiplication calculatory skills to work out a user's current weekly wage. Then it will tell them how much more they would earn if they worked a certain amount of hours more, by multiplying the number of hours more by the user's wage.

A spokesman for The Department of Work and Pensions said, 'Calculators are amazing. We at The Department of Work and Pensions feel very strongly about embracing new technology.'

Minister for Employment, Mark Hoban expanded on the proposals:

"At the moment too many people are trapped working 16 hours a week by a system which means there's no point extending their hours because they'd be worse off. By informing people they could earn more if they got higher paying jobs, we will ensure that people get better jobs.'

Ministers said today that these are just some of the ideas being considered as to how the Government can help low paid workers to increase their hours or move into better paid jobs under Universal Credit. Ministers also called for people to contribute other initiatives which can then be piloted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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