Prince Philip Cracks Filipino Nurse Joke - Makes Her Cry
Britain's Duke of Edinburgh asked a Filipino nurse "What do you call a Filipino nurse walking a dog? A vegetarian!" resulting in the woman breaking down in tears. He made the remark during a visit to Luton and Dunstable Hospital, near London, wh...
Read full storyNew Trend: Pit Bulls Being Liposuctioned Down to Chihuahuas
Many people consider pit bulls to be strong, aggressive attack dogs. Because of that unsavory reputation, many owners who can't bear to part with their pit bulls are having liposuction treatments performed on them to reduce their size. Ward Mun...
Read full storySequester's Unintended Consequences Will Cause Chaos
Washington, DC -- The upside of the government's sequester initiative is a $1.2 trillion reduction in the deficit. The downside is that the blunt force action will produce many unanticipated cuts and changes that will adversely affect every American.
Read full storyMother of Baby Slapped on Airplane Charged $10.00 Fee by Airline
The mother of the 19-month old boy who was slapped by another passenger nearly two weeks ago said today the airline is charging her a $10.00 "slapping" fee. Gamma Airlines spokesperson Mitt Swiggins confirmed the fee, saying, "She and her child...
Read full storyWhite indigenous Brits reject London and head for the hills!
A recent survey has confirmed that London now has a multi-culti majority and white, indigenous Brits, who used to form the majority, are running to the surrounding hills; Cotswolds preferably or even the Sussex Downs; if they can afford it. One re...
Read full storyTo Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett
Kevin Garnett doth protest too much. He keeps saying he is a Boston Celtic player for life. He knows life is too short-even to spend the rest of his career with Shorty Rondo. If Queen Gertrude of Hamlet knew nothing, then Garnett is the maste...
Read full storyClean Limericks For Good Christians
The Reverend E.P. Freedmore here. From First Methodist, but we welcome Presbyterians, and shoot, just about anybody. Baptists, even. Ha ha, that's a joke. You know, humor's not bad. I like it, once in a while. So it's okay to tell a joke now and then, especially if it demonstrates a good Christian moral. You know a lot of people like limericks. But some of 'em are filthy. Let's see an examp...
Read full storyDonald Trump Is Very Upset About The "Dump Trump" Petition
NEW YORK CITY - Well, the man who claims that his television reality show Celebrity Apprentice is the greatest show since the TV western Gunsmoke is presently foaming at the mouth. According to Tittle Tattle Tonight, Donald Trump, 66, is as angry...
Read full storyLisa Marie Presley hominid is 'extinct' Ecuadorian sloth says Smithsonian
Washington DC - "Don't you dare call my ex-husband a sleazy hominid," the forty-something US singer-songwriter said today as pics of a Nicolas Cage-lookalike sasquatch prowling the grounds of her UK home were posted online. The reaction comes as S...
Read full storyJohn Mayer Says Katy Perry Is A Keeper
VENICE BEACH - John Mayer was spotted at the swank Seashell Sal's Sporting Stuff Shop searching for a brand new tennis racket. A close friend stated that Johnny, who's 35, had recently ruined two expensive tennis rackets when he tossed them agains...
Read full storyNazi gold sleuth wants to dredge Central Park's Jackie O Reservoir
New York - It started decades ago as a quirky hobby digging for links between the Nazis and two US presidential families - the Kennedys and the Bushes - who'd made a packet in World War II contraband deals. This week a dramatic turnaround sees ren...
Read full storyAl Qaeda Suicide Dog Training Camp Raided
A camp reported to be conducting the training of puppies and dogs, to enable them to carry out suicide bombing missions, has been raided by allied Special Forces. The camp, located in Northern Afghanistan, is understood to have been wiped out, wit...
Read full storyProtests Over New Olympic Sport: Synchronized Sweating
The decision by the International Olympic Committee to drop wrestling from the Games and replace it with synchronized sweating has triggered a wave of protests around the athletic world. "This is a slap in the face for all the serious sports that...
Read full storyCNN Makeover Prompts Questions of Legitimacy, Porn
ATLANTA, GA - The ratings-challenged news giant CNN is planning a makeover. From his desk at his news organization's headquarters in Atlanta, Hubert Smish - Senior Vice President of News Affairs and Programming - stated the network's a...
Read full storyNew iPhone to adjust user volume
The latest iPhone has been announced with a number of features to adjust both ringtone and user volume according to the surroundings. A novel app now allows for an airbag to be deployed when the speaker reaches an innapropriate threshold when barking...
Read full storyLAPD admits mistakes in prolonged manhunt
After a televised ending to the manhunt many questions were raised about the police tactics that were used. A spokesman for the LAPD responded to allegations that, the department had bungled opportunities to end the manhunt earlier. It became the lo...
Read full storyWho stole Blackpool tower?
Liverpool, UK. In emerging news here, authorities have awoken this foggy morning to discover that the famous Blackpool Tower, designed in the form of Paris' Eiffel Tower, has been stolen and cannot be located. Police are amazed that such a massive...
Read full storyChaz Bono Has A Crush on Ann Coulter
TARZANA, California - Chaz Bono, who was commended by friends and family for having the ahh, gumption to appear on Dancing With The Stars, has revealed a secret he has been keeping since last November. Chaz, who was born Chastity, to Sonny and Che...
Read full storySarah Palin Says The Anorexic Rumors Are Nothing But Reindeer Droppings
WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that Sarah Palin feels like no one in the Lower 48 cares about her anymore. And according to recent polls the Moose Mama is absolutely right. Even her fellow Republican cronies and cohorts at FOX News made that ab...
Read full storyKatie Couric: I'm An Obsessed Cougar!
NEW YORK CITY - Katie Couric was recently spotted shopping for lingerie at a Victoria's Secret in Manhattan. The 56-year-old journalist makes no bones about the fact that she is a compulsive May-December advocate who calls herself an obsessed coug...
Read full story"Vinegar Pussy" Epidemic Forces Obamacare To Issue Free Douche Bags To College Coeds
BILLINGSGATE POST - Male students of Rutyard College in Boston demanded that free douche bag dispensers be placed on campus after claiming to be "overwhelmed by the smell of vinegar pussy" in their dormitories and classrooms. Although not common...
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