BILLINGSGATE POST - Male students of Rutyard College in Boston demanded that free douche bag dispensers be placed on campus after claiming to be "overwhelmed by the smell of vinegar pussy" in their dormitories and classrooms.
Although not common among younger women, the scent of vinegar pussy can be so pervasive that young men claim that they cannot study at night or sleep in class with this scent wafting through the air, especially in the winter when windows are closed. Al Gore suspects that it might even cause global warming.
Alerted by the White House, Secretary of Health Kathleen Sebelius issued the order that Section 29a of the 2100 page Obamacare manifesto be implemented immediately. Section 29a, which is a subsection of the provision that allows the government to oversee "sexual techniques and protocol not governed by Natural Law," is the same catch-all provision that can be used to force religious institutions to provide contraception to employees.
The air is now clear at Rutyard College. Because of Obamacare, the boys can now study at night and sleep in class, as hundreds of douche bag dispensers have been installed in every nook and cranny of this beautiful campus.
Sebelius, ever mindful of the image of thousands of the rich and famous abandoning their seats during the prestigious Oscar Awards, has discussed implementing this policy during Hollywood's most important event, but no decision has been made.
