To Trade or Not to Trade Kevin Garnett

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Kevin Garnett doth protest too much. He keeps saying he is a Boston Celtic player for life. He knows life is too short-even to spend the rest of his career with Shorty Rondo.

If Queen Gertrude of Hamlet knew nothing, then Garnett is the master of living in the dark.

If Sergeant Schulz from Hogan's Heroes knew nothing, then KG is the Stephen Hawking of basketball.

Garnett famously asked the assembled media salivating at the All-Star Weekend of the NBA as to why they kept asking him about this so-called trade to the Los Angeles Clippers.

KG's question seemed to rival that of Henry M. Stanley when he encountered the long-lost doctor of Africa: "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"

Traded to the Clippers, we presume? Danny Ainge is speaking all the great quotes to convince himself. "It is a far, far better thing I do..."

KG has a no-trade clause, but when he arrived in Boston from the hinterlands of Minnesota with Mary Tyler Moore, he came with a no-trade clause.

At the all-star weekend, Garnett has met Chris Paul, the Clipper point guard who is no Rajon Rondo.

Garnett may want to say thank heavens that his mercurial days of playing with Shorty and the short end of the stick could be over with a single word: yes, to the trade.

Wise men often have said only fools rush in, but we can't help thinking Garnett is no fool. Lest we be accused of quoting Elvis or Sinatra, we point out that only fools would say that.

Like Kevin Garnett, we recognize Pope Alexander originated the quote right before he resigned and moved out of Westminster Abbey.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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