Spooky how Madonna's new 'smart' mascara has made her psychic
Los Angeles - A $500,000 mascara originally developed by space program scientists as eye medication for treating astronauts' gamma ray blast exposure has been endorsed by Madonna as an awesome gambling aid. In a forthcoming interview with Megabux...
Read full storyAnthony Weiner Perfect For Fifty Shades Of Grey
Anyone who's read any of the books in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy probably has a pretty good idea of what Christian Grey would be like if he were a real person-for a lot of fans, that wasn't Sons of Anarchy star Charlie Hunnam. The 33-year-o...
Read full storyAn introduction to Hip Hop
Hip Hop originated from people stealing instrumental sections from other people's songs, and then talking over the stolen instrumental sections. For example, our Lord and Saviour Puff Daddy recorded the song "No Way Out", (dedicated to some fat man), which "samples" the introduction of "Every Breath you Take" by the Police. Not only did His Holiness Puff Daddy "sample" another person's song...
Read full storyA&E Announces New Show - "God And Aids"
A&E has made a decision to lift Phil Robertson's "Duck Dynasty" suspension. He will not miss one episode of the controversial program. Robertson got into hot water for praising Jim Crow Laws and comparing gay people to terrorists. He also com...
Read full storyProfessor Quits Job To Open Brothel In Nevada
DEMOCRACY NOW! TRANSCRIPT This is a rush transcript. Copy may not be in its final form. AMY GOODMAN: Here today with me is Professor Hugh Hurrong who has just resigned from the University of Houston to open a brothel in Nevada. Professor, why did you resign from your position at the university? HUGH HURRONG: Well, Amy, in my role as a Professor of Finance I defended Wall Street, Big...
Read full storyMock Apple Pie Made With Mock Ritz Crackers
Toppi Vilalgo of Cedar Junction, Nebraska recently made a mock apple pie using imitation Ritz crackers she made from various foods she found around her kitchen. Ms. Vilalgo stated "First off, I can afford a few apples, but when I read about mak...
Read full storyAtheist Churches Thrive In America
Fueled by tax-exempt status due to flexible definitions of religion by the IRS, "Atheist Churches" are spreading throughout the U.S. Another factor in their success is the ability to recruit members and donations from social media. What starts as "...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Will Turn 50 Soon & Not Pleased!
First lady Michelle Obama will be the guest of honor at a White House dance party next month when she turns "50 and fabulous" but looks more like "50 and frustrated". She's still not all that happy about the Prime Minister of Denmark flirting with...
Read full storyStephen Hawking: Whole Lot of Shit Going Down!
Prominent scientist, Stephen Hawking stated today that both Greenpeace and other environmental groups are fighting a losing battle with nature. "There are about 7 billion people on the earth today. Let's say they have one good crap each day. Now I...
Read full storyBoss Loses Facebook Privilege
A Louisville businessman is learning the hard way that employees can push back when they are forced to divulge account particulars on Facebook. Early this morning, he had logged into the Facebook account of one employee, only to find--substituted for...
Read full storyPolice Advise Us to Watch Our Trash
Archaeologists can tell you that a person's garbage tells a lot about them. It is often all that's left of a civilization, and they will go to great lengths to put potsherds together to see what they have. In modern times, our trash can also ti...
Read full storyUK kleptomaniac cat has an undie fetish!
In the UK a dastardly cat duo, called Catman and Popinn (Names changed for legal reasons) have hit the headlines because of their strange nocturnal habits. They are both kleptomaniacs and many local householders in the vicinity have had to have thei...
Read full storyHoney, You're Not the Sweet Thing I thought You Were
You know, when you insisted on not having sex with me until we were married, I thought you were a little bit of a prude, a goody two-shoes, and that I had a lot to teach you when our wedding night came around. But I was pretty wrong, wasn't I? Either you've been doing a lot of reading in your free time or you come at this kind of thing naturally. But in either case, you just about blew my eyeballs...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Agrees To Appear On An Episode of Duck Dynasty
HOLLYWOOD - The management agency that handles Miley Cyrus has just confirmed that the controversial singer has agreed to guest star on an upcoming episode of the hit cable show Duck Dynasty. Miley spoke with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innu...
Read full storyThe Reason Why NASA Has Hired North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un's Nephew
HOUSTON - The National Aeronautics Space Agency has just released a statement that it has hired the nephew of North Korea's leader Kim Jong Un. NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb informed the news media that 24-year-old Tong Song Chu has been hire...
Read full storyRed Lobster Announces Some of Its Restaurants Will Be Renamed Blue Lobster
ORLANDO, Florida - Red Lobster Spokeswoman Bree Hugginharpee has just informed the news media of a change that the seafood franchise Red Lobster has decided to make. The company's board of directors decided that the company would keep the name Red...
Read full storyFacebook Adjusted the Settings Again!
Facebook is at it again! Even with the highest restrictions put in place, Facebook has adjusted one woman's settings so her boss's wife's sister from fifteen hundred miles away could read a post that the shop was going to be closed because everyone...
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