CEO Envious of Temp Workers
As industry relies more on temporary workers, CEOs tout the benefits of temporary employment and the disadvantages of executive positions. "I know that this CEO position will only last 2-4 years. After that, I won't have an impressive title, free...
Read full storyChelsea ducks family vacation with Uncle Roger Clinton and Uncle Tony Rodham
Sagaponack, Long Island - Pleading a sudden urgent desire to finish her doctoral dissertation on US roil families' White House careers Chelsea Clinton has fled to Oxford, England to beaver away the tail-end of the summer at the famous Bodleian Librar...
Read full storyMore things people say and do to old people.
Wal-Mart checkout The check out lady at Wal-Mart's said, "Is this yours," as she picked up my upper bridge from the conveyor belt. Thank God! I thoughts it had dropped into the urinal in the men's room. "Thanks," I said and put it back in my mouth! Full disclosure: Actually, this hasn't happened yet, but I wouldn't, if I were you, stand near me if you see me start to sneeze. You know you...
Read full storyDiplomacy At Ten Paces
New York - In a statement that has surprised many, Secretary-General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon has announced that the ancient art of dueling will be revived and used to settle certain types of disputes. "It won't be used to make any big d...
Read full storyRuling Authority Sets Term Limits on TV Shows
The following conversation took place recently between this reporter and a spokesperson for the R.A. after that organization took the controversial step of imposing a limit of eight years (two presidential terms) on any television series. Reporter: Why did you do this? RA: The constitution sets a limit of two four-year terms for anyone to occupy that office. It's worked out fairly well.
Read full storyWales to adopt the fathom instead of the mile
Having spent millions ensuring every sign and leaflet in Wales is in both Welsh and English, thus ensuring the survival of the language, the Welsh are now to redo all road signs with miles on, and replace them with fathoms. "We don't like the mile...
Read full storyAnimals Outperform Kids As GCSE Results Slump
Education chiefs have been left reeling after a shock slump in GCSE results. When it comes to getting the grades, the female of the species has been consistently more deadly than the male. But for the first time, both boys and girls have been out...
Read full storyWho said you were naked
Some astronomers say there are about 170 billion galaxies in Universe, billion light-years far apart. If you multiply, the number of stars in our galaxy, 300 billion, by 170 billion other galaxies, you get approximately 10 to the power of 24 stars in universe, Counting non-stop, each number a second, it would take you almost 32 years to count one billion. What keeps the solar system so tight to...
Read full storyWashington Redskins' Robert Griffin III Fined For Wearing An Unauthorized Shirt
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The regular season hasn't even started yet and Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin, III, has already been hit with two fines. Griffin was caught wearing an unauthorized shirt during warmups prior to a preseason game and he was f...
Read full storyWoman Survives Floating In The Icy North Atlantic For 37 Days
RYE, New Hampshire - The United States Coast Guard has informed the public that they have rescued a New Hampshire woman identified as Candace Buttercastle, 42, who was found floating in the freezing waters of the North Atlantic for an amazing 37 days...
Read full storyKeith Urban Says He'd Like American Idol To Pick His Wife Nicole Kidman To Be The Third Judge
HOLLYWOOD - The powers that be at American Idol have been working 24/7 trying to get all of their ducks in order before the start of the next edition of the hit music show. Noted producer Nigel Lythgoe was fired along with music mentor Jimmy Iovin...
Read full storyArkansas Outlaws Drones
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - After thousands of Arkansas residents issued complaints to their state senators the Arkansas Senate has voted by a vote of 27-8 to ban drones flying over the state. Senator Pilbert P. Washmeister [R-Hot Springs] spearheaded...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres Denies The Sex Change Rumors
BEVERLY HILLS - Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres told the entertainment media that she has no idea where in the world the rumor of her having sexual reassignment surgery started. The blonde, blue-eyed comedian, who is married to Portia DeGeneres, sa...
Read full storyDonald Trump Wants To Buy Area 51
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump has expressed a desire to purchase the so called Area 51, located at Groom Lake, which is a remote detachment of Edwards Air Force Base. National Focus Magazine asked Mr. Trump what he could possibly want with what is...
Read full storyJulianne Hough Talks About Her Breakup With Ryan Seacrest
MARINA DEL REY, California - Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest were together for almost two years. The couple was seen all up and down the California coast from San Francisco down to Santa Barbara and from Los Angeles down to San Diego. And for...
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