Julliard Music School Student Discovers Little-Known Folk Singer Named Bob Dylan
Jesse Rosemond, a guitar student at New York's Julliard School of Music, recently happened upon the music of a little-known folk singer-songwriter from Duluth, Minnesota, named Bob Dylan. Jesse explained that although Julliard's musical focus tend...
Read full storySimon Cowell Has Finally Made His Decision and He Has Picked Demi Lovato To Replace Nicole Scherzinger On X-Factor
HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculation as to who X-Factor mogul Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell was going to name as the new judge he has finally revealed that it will be teen singing sensation Demi Lovato. Cowell stated that Demi will be jo...
Read full storyElection Over - Barack Obama Wins Second Term
The presidential election is fundamentally over and Barack Obama has won the White House and Air Force One. Much like '88 presidential contender Michael Dukakis, wearing the inverted soup-bowl hat while sitting in a M1 Abrams tank, Mitt Romney bids g...
Read full storyRomney: "I would have killed Bin Laden myself with my famous Karaoke Kick!"
Mitt Romney called a press conference on the anniversary of the death of Osama Bin Laden and declared in his opening statement, "I would have killed Bin Laden myself with my famous Karaoke Kick!" A New York Times reporter, not known for his fondn...
Read full storyImage of Munch's 'The Scream' materialises on Jerusalem's Wailing Wall
Israel - A spooky emanation of Edvard Munch's 1895 pastel drawing has sprung up overnight on Jerusalem's foremost prayer shrine The Wailing Wall. The apparition 'just popped out of the brickwork' according to one eyewitness whose long distance cam...
Read full storyNorth Korean nuclear missile explodes during planning stage
The latest nuclear missile attempt by North Korea has inexplicably exploded while being studied on a modeling program on a Macintosh personal computer, sources inside North Korea have reported. A spokesman for the source said he had "really nev...
Read full storyMan Who Wakes From 30 Year Coma Asks to be Put Back to Sleep
David Lindersnout, of Cedar Falls, Idaho, woke up yesterday from a 30 year coma. Lindersnout had some friends and family in the area. Doctors were more baffled by the man's attitude after only a few hours of being awake. Lindersnout was visited b...
Read full storyRoss Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Roundup Day 13
First up, the remaining quarter-final results. Matthew Stevens beat Ryan Day 13-5 After trailing in the first session, Stevens reeled off 11 frames in a row to progress to the semi-finals, the sixth of his Crucible career, but first since a final defeat to Shaun Murphy in 2005. Ronnie O'Sullivan beat Neil Robertson 13-10 O'Sullivan overturned a 5-3 first session deficit to win by three fr...
Read full storyRoss Kemp's Nan's World Snooker Round-up: Day 12
Day two of the Quarter-Finals. Stephen Maguire beat Stephen Hendry 13-2 After a great start, Maguire finished off Hendry in two sessions, giving him an afternoon session off - but Hendry has plans for even more time off - by announcing his retirement after the match! After an incredible career, including 27 years at the Crucible, winning seven world titles, 36 ranking tournaments in total,...
Read full storyDoctor A Sinnick - Consultant & Entrepreneur - Public Tender Documents
As a result of stage one of a five-year consultation programme designed to evaluate the value of public consultation, the South West Regional Consultation Agency (SWRCA) now seeks independent consultants to take this work forward. The main task of the new consultants will be to advise the Board on how to make progress on issues already identified through constructive evaluation of key parts of...
Read full storyThousands of floating voters fail to bail out Boris
London - A flotilla of search and rescue vessels moored on the Thames has done little to rescue the marooned Mayoral re-election wannabe. Supporters of Red Ken Livingstone say Boris Johnson's prospects are up the proverbial sh*t creek without a pa...
Read full storyDalglish And Wenger To Star In 'Visit Britain' Ads
Two of the English Premier League's best known managers have been recruited to front a new advertising drive designed to encourage Brits to holiday at home. Liverpool boss Kenny Dalglish and his Arsenal counterpart Arsene Wenger joined forces to f...
Read full story'The Scream' Costs Almost as Much as Carl Crawford for Red Sox
The syllogism goes something like this: you cannot put a price on great art. Munch's 'Scream' is great art. Carl Crawford has caused many to scream. If you feel like the price of great art is on the downswing, you need only consider what the aucti...
Read full storyThe Religious Slot - God's Factory
"I'm Arthur Godley - Godley by name and Godly by nature. Take a seat, mate. I won't be long." From behind his expansive desk, Arthur Godley glanced at his visitor. "Not the sofa, mate. The chair is for ordinary visitors. " Arthur Godley, proprietor of Godley's Garden Gnomes of Krupton straightened his red tie and pulled on the gold cuff links. The penchant for bright ties and driving wi...
Read full storyBritain on tsunami alert ahead of Sunday's full moon
London - Just one small fracking-related tremor could push the UK's volatile flood waters into tsunami mode No 10 Drowning Street warned today. Sunday's powerful Scorpio fool moon reacting badly with underground methane deposits is all it would ta...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie saves children
California - Angelina Jolie is advising parents to leave their children in hospitals, fire stations, police stations and emergency medical facilities as required by law instead of killing their babies. Police officials argue that a parent's worst...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Six: Off for Blood Tests
A diary of one man's (Using the term man loosely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, that had started in August 1947 Chapter 99:: A Pleasant Walk to the QMC for my blood-tests The rain from the day before had relented, so off I set on my marathon hobble to the Queens Medical Centre, from my humble wreck of a two-up-two-down crumbling holed roofed hovel of...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Shares Lincoln Bedroom With Lindsay Lohan And Osama Bin Laden
BILLINGSGATE POST - George Clooney, without a date for the White House Correspondent's Dinner because Stacy Keibler had stiffed him at the last minute, was genuinely tickled when the President offered him an opportunity to share the Lincoln bedroom w...
Read full storyA Very Angry Mel Gibson States That The Rumor About Him and Susan Boyle Is Absolutely False
BEVERLY HILLS - Mel Gibson was getting his hair cut at FuFi Fondue's Haven of Hair Salon when he was asked about the rumor regarding him and Susan Boyle who allegedly had been seen camping together at Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. Gibson t...
Read full storyAnimal Rights Activists Announce Cinco de Mayo Anti-Bullfighting Protest In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
LOS ANGELES - The California chapter of POOPA, People for the Overbearing and Obnoxious pushing of Pampering Animals, has announced that they will be traveling down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on Cinco de Mayo (May 5) to protest the centuries old pract...
Read full storyThe Apple Inc. Logo; Who Bit into the Apple?
It's a whodunnit like no other. Most agree that the two likeliest suspects are the first couple. No, not Barack and Michelle. The real first couple -- Adam and Eve, first residents of the Garden of Eden. But neither one will own up to the deed.
Read full storyNewt Quits Race, Vows to Conquer Russia
Today Newt Gingrich dismissed his run for the US presidency as "trivial" and "not befitting my vast talents and expertise." In a long, sparsely attended press conference, the former Speaker of the House vowed "to move on to more important things, na...
Read full storyCrap Shortage Predictions Unfounded
Washington DC: The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) has been funding renewable energy electric power generation utilizing the burning of chicken, pig and cow/steer manure in several farming states. Chicken, pig, cow/steer and other livestock manur...
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