Election Over - Barack Obama Wins Second Term

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 3 May 2012

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The presidential election is fundamentally over and Barack Obama has won the White House and Air Force One. Much like '88 presidential contender Michael Dukakis, wearing the inverted soup-bowl hat while sitting in a M1 Abrams tank, Mitt Romney bids good-bye to his presidential ambitions.

Seems Mitt attempted to take the spot light away from Obama on the first anniversary of Osama bin Laden's killing by having lunch at a 9/11 firehouse along with Rudolph Giuliani at his side. Appearing just a wee bit awkward and uncomfortable, (I'll eat glass to win the White House) Romney carried four boxes of what had to be extra super large pizzas across the street to the firehouse.

Demonstrating a degree of self-discipline, the pizzas did not flip into hamburgers or hot dogs while Romney crossed the street.

Pizzas delivered, the torture continued before a battery of newsmen and some Occupy Wall Street protesters across the street. (I'll eat glass to win the White House.) Back in 2008, Romney said he would never, (never, never, never) fly into another sovereign nation to get bin Laden.

In 2008, Barack Obama said he would fly into sovereign territory and kill bin Laden; hence the anniversary. Flipping his story in front of the firehouse, Romney said he would have done the same thing as Obama.


A protester yelled something from across the street that had to be bleeped. The bleeping made it appear to be Romney's bleep. It was reminiscent of Jimmy Kimmel's excessive bleeping routine: the Pope, Hillary Clinton, Charles Krauthammer, Queen Elizabeth, etc.

While Romney was trying to win the news cycle of the day with a pizza delivery, Obama was landing in a war zone, about to sign an agreement with President Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan.

After the signing and in shirtsleeves, Obama spoke to the troops thanking them for their service. Then he addressed the nation.

Air Force One waited majestically on the tarmac, glistening in the moonlight, giving the world its best profile shot. The plane speaks power, toughness, beauty and glamour. Air Force One is even sexy.


Mitt who?

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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