George Clooney Shares Lincoln Bedroom With Lindsay Lohan And Osama Bin Laden

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 3 May 2012


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Shot And Mounted

BILLINGSGATE POST - George Clooney, without a date for the White House Correspondent's Dinner because Stacy Keibler had stiffed him at the last minute, was genuinely tickled when the President offered him an opportunity to share the Lincoln bedroom with Osama bin Laden the other night.

The handsome actor, sipping on red wine, was seated at the very front of the Washington Hilton ballroom at the TIME table, along with Steven Spielberg, during the raucous ceremony highlighted by Jimmy Kimmel roasting the president with one liners.

One of Barack Obama's chief Hollywood fundraisers, The affable Clooney spent the evening smiling and blowing kisses to the Obama's, even laughing when Barack told the adoring crowd that the filet they were devouring came from the tender loin of a Pit Bull.

After the dinner was over, the President introduced George to Lindsay Lohan. Noting that both were without dates, Barack Obama cupidly suggested that the two of them stay over night at the White House in the Lincoln Bedroom. Since both had got a little shit-faced during the long dinner and didn't wish to press their luck driving back to their hotels, they thought it a wonderful idea.

After readying themselves for bed, they were startled to see the glaring eyes of Osama bin Laden staring down at them from the wall directly over the foot of Lincoln's bed. The President, evidently proud of having ordered the killing of the mastermind of 9/11, had directed the White House taxidermist to mount the head of OBL, quite like many big-game hunters after shooting their prey.

Needless to say, neither George or Lindsay felt amorous with Osama watching over them, and both said that the evening together was uneventful.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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