Drought Scare Exposed - All Bollocks

Funny story: Drought Scare Exposed - All Bollocks

Recent scare stories about the imminent arid conditions to affect Southern England may be false - according to Wiltshire plumber, Tommy Gripefuttock. "Hosepipe ban - fuck off", expostulates Tommy. Mr Gripefuttock explains thus - "The aquifers a...

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Ready for Leveson

Funny story: Ready for Leveson

David Cameron and his friends, Andy Coulson, Rebekah Brooks and Jeremy Hunt are confident that they will convince everyone that they had nothing to do with Hacking at the News of the World. Several assistants have been earmarked for special missio...

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Sarkozy lost because he preferred German black bread to baguettes!

Funny story: Sarkozy lost because he preferred German black bread to baguettes!

The French presidential election has ended with the French going slightly left instead of right causing quite an upset amongst its European neighbours. Sarkozy admitted defeat gracefully to his opponent, Hollanda (Who's actually Double Dutch), apo...

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Mitt Romney is a Celtic

Mitt Romney continues to barnstorm the Boston sports teams, though lining up the votes of these millionaire athletes may be next to impossible. Despite the fact that most of the Celtics players have attended fund raisers for the likely opponent of...

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Celebrity Apprentice - Donald Trump Fires Lisa Lampanelli, AKA "The Crying Pit Bull"

Funny story: Celebrity Apprentice - Donald Trump Fires Lisa Lampanelli, AKA "The Crying Pit Bull"

MANHATTAN - The Celebrity Apprentice is now down to three contestants as the latest celeb to hear those two dreaded little words "You're fired" from Donald Trump was the overweight, stand up, insult comedian Lisa Lampanelli. During her stay on the...

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New French President named after English girls' public school

Funny story: New French President named after English girls' public school

Paris - The Francis Holland School's motto 'That our daughters may be as the polished corners of the Temple' is something of a puzzle the Elysee Palace said today. But it does nothing to dispel the 'champagne socialist' tag about President Francoi...

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Mitt Romney Comments On The New Marvel Super Heroes Film "The Avengers"

Funny story: Mitt Romney Comments On The New Marvel Super Heroes Film "The Avengers"

CHICAGO - GOP presidential front runner Mitt Romney and his wife Ann attended a showing of the new super heroes film The Avengers. The blockbuster movie broke the all-time opening weekend record with ticket sales of over $200 million. After vie...

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The Exploding Butler of Hump Hall, Part I

Funny story: The Exploding Butler of Hump Hall, Part I

'That was the local force from Rottingdean', said Inspector Dirk 'Cast Iron' Alibi; 'the butler has exploded at Hump Hall and they're calling the Yard in to investigate.' Inspector Corner, of the Yard, placed the receiver down and turned to Detective Pong, "We got to go and investigate an exploding Butler at Hump Hall in Sussex Pong. "Where's Sussex Pong Sir?" asked the Detective. "No Pon...

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Ross Kemps Nan World Snooker Round-up: Day 16 - Final

Funny story: Ross Kemps Nan World Snooker Round-up: Day 16 - Final

So today is the first day of the All-Essex Final, between 'Rocket' Ronnie O'Sullivan and Ali Carter 'the unstoppable snooker machine'. Ronnie reached the final beating three previous world champs in the first three rounds - Peter Ebdon 10-4, Mark Williams 13-6, and Neil Roberston 13-10. In the semi-final he beat Matthew Stevens 17-10. After a convincing 10-2 win over Mark Davis in the first...

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Wayne Rooney named new horse after Pippa Middleton 'before realising it was a colt not a filly'

Funny story: Wayne Rooney named new horse after Pippa Middleton 'before realising it was a colt not a filly'

Manchester - "Saw its backside, like, and had to call it Pippy," was the lame explanation ahead of the two year-old's debut at Chester racecourse on Wednesday. The Australian Exceed And Excel-sired colt out of US mare Night Shift was snapped up by...

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Red Sox Win Oscar for Lost Weekend

The last time the Red Sox were this bad during a weekend of baseball at Fenway Park, Ray Milland won an Oscar for The Lost Weekend. For those who missed Milland's only great performance, he played an alcoholic who experiences Delirium Tremens as o...

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Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons

Funny story: Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons

New research in cognitive behaviour has shown that the order in which we learn affects what we learn. "We believe that maths is deliberately taught before religious education," said Michael Beye, spokesman for the Discovery Institute, the militant...

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Augurs Tell the Tale of Rondo and Pierce

When a long-time fan asks us, how do you know whether the Celtics can win the game? We answer (brimming with considerable confidence) after making precise observations and logical deductions. In the first five minutes, all answers are available.

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Would you visit movie museums?

Funny story: Would you visit movie museums?

Lately museums have been keen to attract broader audiences and they have increasingly been using popular culture to do this. Movies are an obvious source for audience development. Yes, there are movie museums but no specialist ones. Here are a few suggestions with some suggested marketing slogans: The Godfather Museum - A visit you can't refuse The Terminator Museum - You'll be back The Gone...

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Lost Parakeet Tweets His Home Address, Starts Trend

Funny story: Lost Parakeet Tweets His Home Address, Starts Trend

No, NOT on Twitter. In person! Here's the scoop. A lost pet parakeet in Japan was recently brought home when he was able to "tell" (well actually tweet) police where he lived. A happy ending! But it turns out that was just the beginning. A Spoof reporter who has recently interviewed (in bird talk, of course!) a group of birds has discovered that the lost parakeet's act has inspired a num...

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Shakira and Sofia Vergara Will Both Be Guest Chefs On Gordon Ramsay's "Hell's Kitchen"

Funny story: Shakira and Sofia Vergara Will Both Be Guest Chefs On Gordon Ramsay's "Hell's Kitchen"

LOS ANGELES - The executives of Hell's Kitchen have announced that two of Colombia's top exports Shakira and Sofia Vergara will be appearing on an upcoming episode of Chef Gordon Ramsay's show. Dryden B. Von Normandy, a spokesperson for HK, spoke...

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George Clooney Confesses To President Obama That Girlfriend Stacy Keibler Could Very Well Be The "One"

Funny story: George Clooney Confesses To President Obama That Girlfriend Stacy Keibler Could Very Well Be The "One"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - George Clooney was in the nation's capital where he was meeting with President Obama regarding a big celebrity fundraiser that is being planned for LaLaLand. Clooney was given a personal tour of the White House by the president.

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"If Men Want To Satisfy Ladies Sexually, They Should Do It Like Beethoven" - Says Local Man

Funny story: "If Men Want To Satisfy Ladies Sexually, They Should Do It Like Beethoven" - Says Local Man

Local man - and idiot held in the lowest esteem by all who know him - Martin Shuttlecock, today divulged what he considers to be the key to a successful sex life for men who really want to please the lady in their life - as opposed to just knocking o...

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Dirty Limericks by Angry Feminist Lesbians

The Spoof's limericks column has been popular with lad readers, but criticism has come from certain other quarters over what some perceive as sexist elements. In the interest of fairness and constructive criticism we present what we are told will be a humorous and thoughtful rebuttal from Val-Grace MacDorkin, a prominent spokesperson on women's issues: You've come here for dirty humor, haven't...

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Charles Barkley Reportedly Admits He'd Like To Go Out With Patricia Krentcil, Alias "Tanorexic Woman"

Funny story: Charles Barkley Reportedly Admits He'd Like To Go Out With Patricia Krentcil, Alias "Tanorexic Woman"

NEW YORK CITY - TNT sports announcer Charles Barkley, who is known as "The Round Mound of Rebound," was spotted at New York's The Plastered Platypus Lounge. Sir Charles, as he prefers to be called, was sitting with an unidentified male friend who...

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"The Avengers" Opens To A $200 Million Weekend Take To Break The All-Time Record - Scarlett Johansson Talks About Some of The Film's Goofs

HOLLYWOOD - The Avengers opened at movie theaters and scored extremely big at the box office breaking the all-time weekend take at over $200 million. The Marvel superhero movie literally left every other movie at the starting gate. One of the f...

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Japan Melts Down... Blubber?

Funny story: Japan Melts Down... Blubber?

TOKYO (SAPP) - After many years of international pressure to stop whaling, sources close to the prime minister of Japan, Yoshihiko Noda, have admitted that whaling has become a vital source of energy for the country. Members of Mr. Noda's inner circl...

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Wife Swapping Mating Service Being Considered

Funny story: Wife Swapping Mating Service Being Considered

Baltimore MD: A demonstration by several women's groups occurred outside of Datebook Corporation's executive offices to protest the social network giant's decision to expand their business to include adult married men mating services. Datebook is...

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