Ann Coulter Tells Ellen DeGeneres That Sarah "Snowflake" Palin Needs To Go Back To Alaska And Stay There!
HOLLYWOOD - Republican maven Ann Coulter recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and gave her political opinions on all kinds of political issues. The long legged stringy blonde haired Coulter told Ellen that she is tired of hearing that Sar...
Read full storyMan Finally Wins Champions League After Playing Championship Manager Computer Game For 20 Years
A Russian man has finally led his team to winning the European Champions League after playing the realistic and addictive Championship Manager Computer game for 20 years! Ruslan Chekov took over as manager of Premier League outfit Chelsea in 1992...
Read full storyPeter Andre Admits: Part 3
Peter Andre is an uncomplicated man leading a complex life. And as Back and to the Left news has discovered over our many chats he is also a man who enjoys the simple things in life. He produces thought provoking and innovative music that has ins...
Read full storyOlympics Scaled Down to Face Debt Crisis Realities
London - The 2012 Olympic Games may be weeks away, but they are already feeling the effects of the European debt crisis. A long list of austerity measures is being implemented to help the international competition survive in an atmosphere of econ...
Read full storyBruce Forsyth Thought to be a Soviet Spy
Papers released by the government today under the accidental off-side rule, reveal that during the height of the cold war, Britain's intelligence service -MI6, carried out a wide ranging investigation of the popular entertainer Bruce Forsyth. Init...
Read full storyLocal Couple Told To Get Their House In Order
A civil partnership couple, David and Nick, have been told to clean up their backyard by angry neighbours this week, after a tit-for-tat row spilled over into the local media, The McMurdoch Press. Relations within the community had been strained for...
Read full storyVulcans fly past Falklands memorial
Staffordshire - It was 'phasers on stun' this afternoon as Commander Spock and Lieutenant Tuvok were spotted circling above the National Memorial Arboretum. Their shuttle buzzed the unveiling of a memorial to armed forces killed in the Falklands W...
Read full storyBarney Google (With Them Goo-Goo-Googly Eyes) Sues Google Inc. For Name Infringement
Now forgotten comic legend Barney Google (the guy with the 'Goo-goo-gooogley Eyes' according to an old hit song) is suing website mega-giant Google for copyrighted name infringement. Barney claims that Google intentionally used his name to increase t...
Read full storyNATO leaders decide to keep Chicago
Chicago - According to our source, a low-level employee at the NATO venue, the leaders of the Western World have decided that they like Chicago, and plan to maintain a military presence so that they can continue to enjoy it in true peace and security...
Read full storySolar eclipse snaffles up Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi
Libya - The man convicted of killing 270 in the 1988 bombing of a US jet has kicked the bucket at home in Tripoli just as the eclipsed Gemini new moon began manifesting in the cosmos. Stargazers have described his RIP as an astrology classic and a...
Read full storyFood crisis solved by flesh eating bacteria
Many people in Britain live below the poverty line and struggle to get enough food to eat. As a result, rickets is making a comeback, as are nutritional disorders that Britain thought it had left in the middle ages. "It's getting so bad," said nut...
Read full storyCameron Tells Britain's Starving To Eat Dandylions, Clover, and Roadkill Pheasant!
Reports from many inner city hospitals show they are now having to treat hundreds of people turning up at A&E suffering from food poisoning. The reason is thought to be directly linked to soaring food prices in the high streets with many starving...
Read full storyGOP Changes Stance: Life Begins at Birth Certificate
In a staggering reversal of a long-held belief, today the Grand Old Party ruled that life begins not at conception, but upon the release of the long form birth certificate. And even then, not really. Moved by republican hatred of the president,...
Read full storyChelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win
Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...
Read full storySolar eclipse triggers Italy earthquake
Bologna - The first of the eclipsed Gemini new moon tremors has flattened much of a Northern Italian town 35km north of Bologna. The 6-magnitude quake struck this morning in the Emilia Romagna district notorious for attracting spent lunar forces.
Read full storyWes Welker's Week that Was
Wes Welker has had an up and down week to say the least. One day he signs a contract tender as the franchise player of the year. This means a larger paycheck than he was receiving, but less than he wanted. At first, Wes thought there was nothin...
Read full storyFossilised hot cross bun found on Isle of Canna
Scotland - Archaeologists are playing down reports that the 25cm diameter artefuct is the legendary 'Cursing Stone of Scone' used by generations of monarchs during the Coronation Oath. It was found at an old graveyard on the partially inhabited is...
Read full storyMan City stripped of title because the QPR defence (bank) rolled over in X-tra time!
Soccer exclusive: Manchester City have been stripped of their title and Man Utd will be officially sworn is as Premier League champions 2011-2012. The ceremony will take place in front of the Queen at Buckingham Palace after Chelsea have spanked the...
Read full storyMy Senior Moments for W/E: 20th May 2012
Monday 14th May 2012 * Stewart and Margaret away today, and no sign of Pippa the fat black cuddly cat either - again! * Got things ready for my meeting up with Mr Chris McManus and his partner, in West Bridford. Walked to town, bought a book of old postcard photos of West Bridford, and caught the bus out to the Test Match pub where we'd arranged to meet. The bus pass refused to swipe, and the dr...
Read full storySelected Political News for W/E: 20th May 2012
Monday 14th May 2012 Topic: Terrorism - Crime - Olympics "London 2012: 'No specific' terror threat, says Minister Philip Hammond" Source: BBC News Extract: He said an elaborate military exercise carried out in London last week was to prepare for any threats that might arise in a dangerous world. The exercise included tests of air defence missile systems at six sites across London, using dummy...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E: 20th May 2012
Monday 14th May 2012 Topic: Crime - Another elderly person attacked "Elderly Nott's woman injured in burglary" Source: Notts Police Extract: Police are hunting a man who injured an elderly woman during an armed burglary in Worksop on Saturday (12 May). The burglar entered the home of the 88-year-old woman at around 9.45pm, armed with a six-inch knife. He demanded money from the woman but sh...
Read full storyMillions of idiots expected to go blind Monday
San Francisco CA - Scientists predict that millions of rebellious idiotic, rude, young adults will be blinded Monday. Dr. Smerve Leude of the Whackover Institute told reporters that the eclipse of the sun Monday would not be total. Damaging rays wo...
Read full storyHorse Wins Race
The 137th Preakness Stakes was run today, and for the 137th consecutive time the race was won by a small man riding a horse. I'll Have Another kept alive its hopes for a triple crown, or rather, kept alive the triple crown hopes of the people around...
Read full storySpoiler Alert: Autistic Boy Was Ordering Pizza
New York, New York- A non-verbal autistic boy named Jake, whose random scribbling of numbers and letters sent his father on a two year televised journey, was actually just attempting to order pizza. Jake's father had no idea what his boy was tr...
Read full storyTeen Burglar Gets An 'A' on Homework Left at Scene of Crime
An 18 year old Miami Florida teenager, Donny Disaster, was given an 'A' on the homework he left at the scene of a burglary. The homework was left on a desk that had been ransacked and alleviated of a box of cherry pop tarts. Apparently, Donny Disas...
Read full storySo Impressed With His First TSA Pat Down, Former Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, Goes Through It Twice
88 year old former US Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, got a taste of his first TSA pat down. This occurred while going to Toronto to try to negotiate a ceasefire between the Miami Heat's shooting guard Dwayne Wade and his coach Erik Spoelstra.
Read full storyRe-Verified US-Canadian Border Makes the US a Little Warmer and Smaller
What started out as a harmless, beer driven drunken dare, US President, Barack Obama, ended up losing, not only the US's half of the Great Lakes along with Lake Michigan, but, also, half of all the US states that border the country of Canada. This h...
Read full storyTribe Refuses to Take Back Mount Rushmore
Sioux City, Iowa - The Bureau of Land Management, on behalf of the National Park Service, has once again failed to return Mount Rushmore to The Sioux nation from which it was originally obtained. The refusal by the tribe of Native Americans means tha...
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