Sioux City, Iowa - The Bureau of Land Management, on behalf of the National Park Service, has once again failed to return Mount Rushmore to The Sioux nation from which it was originally obtained. The refusal by the tribe of Native Americans means that the federal government is stuck with the worn out and mostly useless monument.
Chief Khoocie Coo, who, at a mere five foot two inches, is the leader of the Sioux Nation in North-western Iowa, explained the reasoning by his people in rejecting the fed's attempt:
"The mountain, as is, has obviously been used and altered by the owner. Our policy clearly states that: "merchandise must be in new or like new condition. This mountain is clearly not "in like new condition."
"We're extremely disappointed in Chief Khoocie...Khoocie...Khoocie Coo's decision in this matter." a stammering Czar Czar Jar Jar Binks explained at a hastily called news conference. "Since we...we...we obtained the a fore mentioned mountain by...by...by means other than...than...than a credit card, we may have to go to court to get satisfaction. I really hope it doesn't come to that but we may have no other choice but to sue the Sioux City Sioux."