My Senior Moments for W/E: 20th May 2012

Funny story written by Inchcock

Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for My Senior Moments for W/E: 20th May 2012
Friday 18th May 2012: What a Plonker!

Monday 14th May 2012
* Stewart and Margaret away today, and no sign of Pippa the fat black cuddly cat either - again!
* Got things ready for my meeting up with Mr Chris McManus and his partner, in West Bridford. Walked to town, bought a book of old postcard photos of West Bridford, and caught the bus out to the Test Match pub where we'd arranged to meet. The bus pass refused to swipe, and the driver told me where to take it to get it repaired.
* Went into the pub (first time for 22 years), and got the desire for alcohol straight away, even after all these years - but I resited, and had an orange juice... £2.20!!! Arghh!!
* Had a wonderful talk with my Canadian visitor, a lovely couple, who took me for what I am, rare that nowadays, and much appreciated.
* Dropped off bus on the way back to town, got the pass repaired, and bought a value £1 egg and tomato baguette from Greggs.
* Got home, had nosh, and fell asleep... fitfully.
* Got up and took medications, then downloaded photos from the meeting, and emailed them to Mr McManus.
* Had an unfruitful look for Pippa.

Tuesday 15th May 2012
* Still no signs of Pippa the fat black cuddly cat again!
* Did a bit of Spoofing, had a wash shave and a sh.. and set off on walk to the QMC for me blood Warfarin tests. Remembering I might add, to take me bus-pass, bird seed for the pigeons on the Forest, and the bikkie treats for the staff! (Chest swells with pride with me remembering every thing!)
* Fed the pigeons as I passed the Forest, knees a bit painful, but I got there in plenty of time taking the new route I tried last time. Got seen quickly again. Got bus to town, and bus out of town to home - and even remembered to call in the GP surgery to book an appointment to get some more paingel, and ask her to take a look at a new growth that's come in my mouth that is worrying me a tad.
*Got home, shot (well hobbled up the stairs anyway) the loo, and sod it! I'd left the bloomon' heater on again!

Wednesday 16th May 2012
* Lousy night, aches pains, and trips to the loo! By golly those Furosemide water tablets are effective... almost lethal at times!
* Nipped over to see how Stewart was, Margaret not there today, (Sob) on way to walking to Asda to get some cheerfully cheap chips, and a pack of 4 for 99p battered fish portions. Got the cheap chips but they told me theyhave stopped selling the cheap fish portions. Shame, I liked them.
* Got the bus home, called to see Stew. Put chips away, and walked to City centre to try and get 99p portions from Tesco. They had stopped selling them too! I got some cheap 4 for a quid cat food from pound shop in case Pippa does return.
* Bus back home,rushed in (in a fashion) and up to the loo - to find heater left on again!

Thursday 17th May 2012
* No signs of Pippa the fat black cuddly cat again! Oh dear.
* Went to GP (oh she is pretty and sexy). She's increased Rampiril from 2.5 to 7.5mg a day. Got to book blood tests with nurse for next Thursday, and book appointment with dentist to take a look at the growth on me gums. Gave me prescription for Ibuprofen pain-gel for knees. And weakened my knees, fluttered my heart as she smiled and said cheerio as I left.
* Called at Stewart's, took meal for Margaret and biscuits for Stew. Margaret will phone dentist for me tomorrow, bless her sweet heart and wonderful wiggle! Now Cloe, his cat, has disappeared!

Friday 18th May 2012
* Chest pains again, up around 0200hrs, on the Spoof. (Where else?) Knees giving a bit of bother this morning too!
* No signs of Stewart's Cloe or my Pippa the cats - a mystery?
* Urgent message received from my rear area, got upstairs to the loo just in time! Out of toilet paper! Damnations! Hobbled downstairs to get some kitchen towel and stubbed me toe on top step again on returning upstairs, now the throbbing will last for ages on me bad toe!
* Thoughtfully decided to write a note so I wouldn't forget to get some when I went out.. and when I went into the airing cupboard to get a clean towel - it revealed an Asda 4-pack of the things! What a plonker!
* Settled down to try and kip, but had to get up and go to loo again - and stubbed me bad toe on top step again! That decided it for me, I'll look for the saw and hammer and lop the top of the step off - or alternatively I might remember to mention me bad toe to the Doctor when I go next week.

Saturday 19th May 2012
* Up at 0300hrs, WC, cuppa, a fruitless look for Pippa, on the laptop Spoofin' again.
* Went over to see Stewart, he was watching Carry on Don't Lose Your Head on his cable TV. No sign of Margaret, so I left the meal I'd done for her with Stewart. Hope she's alright, I thought she told me she'd be there about 1030hrs.
* Managed to consign another pan of veg stew to the dustbin when I nodded off once more.

Sunday 20th May 2012
* Slept better last night, didn't get up until past 0500hrs. Then the usual loo visit, started the laptop, put the kettle on, searched for and found hearing aids, fruitless look outside for Pippa the fat black cuddly cat, came back in banged me bad toe on step doing so. Must mention this to Dr when I go this Tuesday, or to the nurse on Thursday.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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