Ann Coulter Tells Ellen DeGeneres That Sarah "Snowflake" Palin Needs To Go Back To Alaska And Stay There!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for Ann Coulter Tells Ellen DeGeneres That Sarah "Snowflake" Palin Needs To Go Back To Alaska And Stay There!
Sarah Palin has said that she dislikes Ann Coulter just as much as Coulter dislikes her if not more. (Photo by Piper Palin).

HOLLYWOOD - Republican maven Ann Coulter recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and gave her political opinions on all kinds of political issues.

The long legged stringy blonde haired Coulter told Ellen that she is tired of hearing that Sarah Palin came along and put the spotlight on the Republican party when it was sitting in a cold, dark, damp political corner.

"Trigger" as Vice-President Joe Biden refers to her, noted that the Lower 48 did pretty darn good before "Caribou Hormones" left the "Iceberg State" and waltzed her way into the continental United States.

Ellen grinned and said, "My goodness you really do not like the woman do you Annie?"

"No I don't DeGeneres. 'Snowflake' Palin is not at all emblematic of a GOP woman. She really needs to get her butt back to Alaska and stay there. And please do not call me Annie. My name is Ann and by adding the "ie" to it you make it sound as if I am one of your lesbianite pals so please refrain from doing it, thank you sweety."

DeGeneres blushed turning as red as a Tacoma tomato and agreed that she would not call her Annie. She then asked that Coulter not call her sweety because sweety is a word that is used mainly by Left Coast lesbians such as herself, Melissa Etheridge, Jody Foster, Wanda Sykes, Jane Lynch, Meredith Baxter, and Sara Gilbert.

"Sara Gilbert?" Coulter asked in amazement. "You mean little Darlene Conner from the old Roseanne sit-com is a fairy?"

DeGeneres shot her a look of disgusted disgust and remarked that Sara is not a fairy and that the correct term is lesbian.

"Whatever" Ann remarked laughingly.

She then said, you say potato and I say tomato, you say lesbian and I say fruitcake.

And with that Ellen stood up and asked the GOP mouthpiece to leave the stage and to not take the neat parting bag filled with all kinds of neat gifts that she gives to all of her guests.

"Oh I am so keeping the iPad 3 and you cannot take it from me little lady." Coulter yelled out.

Ellen suddenly gave Coulter a karate kick which knocked her down to the floor causing her to cry out in pain like a crazed banshee.

DeGeneres then reached down and picked up the iPad 3 and handed it to one of her assistants.

Coulter yelled out that she needed CPR.

Ellen stood over her and told her that she would try and place a call through to Sarah Palin for her.

In Other News. Ron Paul is reportedly so disgruntled with fellow Republican Mitt Romney that he is planning on voting for President Obama and says that he is going to ask that Carol, his wife of 54 years, vote for Obama as well.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more