Re-Verified US-Canadian Border Makes the US a Little Warmer and Smaller

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for Re-Verified US-Canadian Border Makes the US a Little Warmer and Smaller
When did they start having a border check in Cincinnati dear?

What started out as a harmless, beer driven drunken dare, US President, Barack Obama, ended up losing, not only the US's half of the Great Lakes along with Lake Michigan, but, also, half of all the US states that border the country of Canada. This happened when he took up Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper's dare to 'check the actual borders between the two countries with modern GPS surveying devices and compare them to the original treaty between the US and Great Britain'.

Seeing that the treaty was made way back before heat was invented, Obama thought there was a good chance the verification could cause the US to lose Cleveland to Canada, so he felt it was a win-win situation.

The reaction from the US side was rather subdued and a bit confused as the people in the lower half states had no idea that the northern states existed. The people in the middle states thought it didn't matter because Canada was just a big US state anyway, while the people in the border states said they didn't like anyone in the part of the state that went to Canada anyway.

"This really explains a lot of things around here", claimed Montana resident Bobby Dense whose street was divided between the countries by the redrawn border. "Every time I visited my neighbor across the street I always had to wear a winter jacket or coat, even in the summertime. I mean, geez, the kids backyard pools stayed frozen all year round except for 3 days in August. But on the good side, our kids could pretty much ice skate all year round just by crossing the street".

The Canadians on the other hand were quite ecstatic about the news as for the first time Canada will finally have a warm weather vacation city in Detroit.

When asked how he felt now about the dare, Obama responded:

"Well, I'm glad Cleveland and Detroit are gone, although I hate the thought of Lake Michigan going to Canada. I just know that Canada is going to ice the whole fucking lake over and turn it into a retirement community for Zamboni drivers".

In other news France completely disappeared when it and its bordering countries had their borders re-verified. Apparently, the French were quite happy about the result as France would no longer have to surrender anymore.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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