Google To Lease Space In Peoples Heads For Mammoth Surge In Internet Data
Internet giant Google has come up with a solution to its data storage problems. The exponential growth in the use of the Internet has caused many of the top web site facilities to experience excruciating problems with where to put all the billions o...
Read full storyCaravan holiday becomes a boating holiday for one Dorking couple
Selma and Cedric Seeward, a couple from Dorking, took a caravanning holiday to Truro. All was going well, if a bit wet, when the caravan park was hit by six inches of rain in one hour, bursting the banks of the local river. "There was quite a lot of rain," said Selma. "Wasn't there Cedric?" "There was quite a lot of rain," Cedric confirmed. As the pair watched from the caravan window, the...
Read full storyQueen chickens out of Wimbledon finals, fears Andy Murray straight sets thrashing
London - She's refusing to enter the Royal Box on Sunday amid predictions of a national humiliation as Roger Federer wipes the floor with Andy Murray. Besides, three hours of sitting around on one's royal arse plays havoc with the old colostomy ba...
Read full storyBolivian Dictator Courted By Manchester City - Stalls Over New Contract
Revolutionary Bolivian dictator and left sided midfielder, Colonel Juan San Andreas, is apparently stalling in talks with Mercado Olimpica Del Satirista of La Paz, over a contract extension after being feted by Manchester 'Moneybags' City. San And...
Read full storyScotland demand autonomy from the UK and from July 2012 it will be called Murrayland!
It's taken 74 years for a Brit to reach the final of Wimbledon and it just happened to be a Scot! Andy Murray (congratulations) has done what no other Brit has ever done apart from Fred Perry; he's conquered the world's tennis elite and will now meet...
Read full storyOver 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse
Omaha, Nebraska - America's frantic search for new jobs has hit the mother load. A team of Navy SEALs has uncovered and seized a long-forgotten human resource center, containing over 12.4 million private sector jobs. "At 1:09 AM, Greenwich Mean Ti...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Pops Fireworks With Patrick Schwarzenegger
HYANNISPORT, Massachusetts - It appears that Taylor Swift certainly saw lots of fireworks as she spent the 4th of July holiday visiting the Kennedy Hyannisport Compound. And as impressed as Taylor was with the aerial display of fireworks she was m...
Read full storyLady Gaga cancels Perth Concert after his balls drop
Lady Gaga has cancelled a concert in Australia, part of his Born This Way Ball Tour, after his balls dropped and his voice broke late last night, according to the stars publicist. The star was due to perform at Burswood Dome on Saturday and Sunday...
Read full storyRobin Van Persie to join Scottish Premier League
Robin Van Persie caused ripples this week by revealing on his personal website that he would not be signing an extension to his Arsenal contract, and now details are emerging as to his whereabouts next season. RVP Stated that he is not happy with...
Read full storyOld woman is accused of genocide
An 89-year-old woman is being accused of committing genocide for dating an 18-year-old man by the name of Jack Be Nimble, from New York City. The old woman is not capable of producing biological children making her a vessel of genocide. The U.
Read full storyCharlie Sheen and Paris Hilton Are An Item
BEVERLY HILLS - Charlie Sheen, fresh from the success of his brand new comedy show Anger Management on the FX Network, and Paris Hilton, the Tinsel Town celebutante heiress both were in attendance at the grand opening of the newest Mexican restaurant...
Read full storyWestboro Baptist Church threatening to picket Hillary Clinton
Margie Phelps, daughter of the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church and spokesperson of the group, took to Twitter today to announce that the Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket a fundraiser in honor of Hillary Clinton. "Westboro will picket...
Read full storyUN Spokesperson Emperor Wang from Planet Porno Threatens Member Nations with Sex Ray
Prompting warnings of a "global governance" thrust, the United Nations spokesperson, Emperor Wang from Planet Porno, released a report Thursday proposing mechanisms including a global vibrator tax, lubrication transaction tax and an "Porn Actor's ta...
Read full storyHuddersfield Town Football Club sign new bass player
In an announcement that had Simon Cowell's new teeth rattling and Tulisa Gotanewtrampastampa reaching for another "tah-oo" for her body, Huddersfield Town Football Club announced the signing of midfielder Adam Clayton. The football club have reall...
Read full storyIntelligent Design fail to explain evolutionary algorithms
One of the greatest achievements of the science of evolution is the evolutionary algorithm. This mainstay of computing and design was a completely unforeseen extension of the theory of evolution by natural selection, and has rapidly become the bi...
Read full storyPetrol stations caught using random number generators for petrol prices
Drivers have long seen petrol prices change every time that they pass the same petrol station. It turns out now that the price being set bares no relation to the price of oil. Instead, each petrol station has a random number generator built into the...
Read full story100 Caravaggio sketches found, Evolutionists wet their pants!
The fantasy world of evolution is celebrating following the surprise find of 100 Caravaggio sketches found in a castle in Milan. It is estimated that the haul is worth in the region of £560 million pounds. Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crac...
Read full storyBritney Spears builds a time machine
Britney Spears worked with the precision and concentration of a surgeon in the basement workshop of her home to build a time machine. "After I build my time machine, I went into the future 5002012 years from this year," Spears continues, "You ha...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Buy Russell Brand's The Blue Tattoo Ranch In Texas
SAN ANTONIO - The young stars of The Vampire Diaries flew into San Antonio to tour the 3,000 acre Blue Tattoo Ranch which is owned by Russell Brand. The beautiful, sprawling, working cattle ranch was originally owned by country legend George Strai...
Read full storyKaty Perry and Katie Holmes Deny The Lesbian Rumors
LOS ANGELES - Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise exactly six months to the date that Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry. Katy was definitely devastated at the news where as Katie made the news, so she was certainly not the...
Read full storyCERN announces discovery of Satan particle
Scientists at CERN today announced that they had discovered the Satan particle, which has the same mass and spin as the God particle, but opposite charge. When a God particle and a Satan particle collide, the two annihilate each other and energy is r...
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