Britney Spears builds a time machine

Written by Kid Icarus

Friday, 6 July 2012

image for Britney Spears builds a time machine
A picture Britney Spears took of a building in the future.

Britney Spears worked with the precision and concentration of a surgeon in the basement workshop of her home to build a time machine.

"After I build my time machine, I went into the future 5002012 years from this year," Spears continues, "You have the ability to change the things that are not right and make them right just like they are right on other worlds trillions of light years from here... you're pretty much just limited by whatever you can think of."

When Spears entered the future she saw humanoid creatures whose foreheads looked like dolphins. They had no eyes, ears or mouths, yet they could talk and see.

"I approached one and it knew what I was going to ask before I spoke and it talked producing sound by vibrating the molecules in the air with its mind," said Spears.

The humanoid told Spears they descended from ancient primates over 500,000 years ago and she was welcomed to roam freely and ask questions of their civilization.

Their government was administered by a computer system called S.I.M.S. (Simulated Intelligence Memory System) and they did not have laws, courts and prisons because their minds are highly evolved to the point they all function in perfect unison without making mistakes.

"Their behavioral DNA is free of imperfections that are present in lower life forms," said Spears.

After they are born fully matured inside of incubation machines they are temporarily nurtured by androids that are programmed by S.I.M.S. Their education consist of memories that are implanted into their brains by a machine while they mature inside of the incubators. It only takes 15 minutes to start kindergarten and finish the university. They are born understanding their entire civilization.

All the humanoids are scientist and they are constantly doing research to evolve their evolution and to make discoveries in every aspect of science.

One of the humanoids told Spears that the earth will only last 4.5 billion years because by that time the Sun will starts to turn into a red giant and all life on earth will die. That is why their society is always in a rush trying to beat the deadline.

The humanoids are on the verge of discovering how to create new bodies for themselves that can allow them to enter into the fourth dimension, so they can escape the earth before it's destroyed. They know that other higher life forms from other worlds have already transferred into the fourth dimension and they live together in peace.

"Britney Spears, you must return to your time and warn human beings in the past that they must use science to construct a new society without capitalism, so they can accelerate their evolution before the Sun dies," said a humanoid named Z12.35.

Spears returned home and informed scientist to create a legal organization that specializes in evaluating the political process, so the organization can takes steps to improve the quality of government for the American people.

The organization can create computer simulations of better government structures that help solve economic and social issues. The organization can present those simulations to the American people, so the American people can make changes to the law to improve their government.

Stephen Hawking is advising the Congress to make a law which mandates that candidates running for office take a Cognition I.Q. test and the test scores need to be placed on ballet cards, so the American people could have the choice of electing the best capable candidate for office. Those with the highest I.Q. will have a better ability to solve economic and social problems.

Hawking argues that a chimp is capable of riding a bike, but is incapable of flying an Airbus A380. Some humans are capable of doing a better job as politicians than other humans. "Candidates need a science degree as well as a law degree, so they could view problems in a realistic manner," said Hawking.

At the moment, there are some politicians that have an I.Q. as low as 62 which makes it extremely difficult for them to accomplish anything constructive. Their salaries are a waste of tax payers money, Hawking explains. Millions of years could go by and human beings could remain living fossils as the sun slowly dies and all life on this earth edges closer to mass extinction on a global scale.

"A higher level of thinking is required to see the truth," said Hawking.

Stephen Hawking wrote a singularity theorem which he presented to a group of politicians, to convince them of a need for change, at a conference meeting in New York.

His assistants passed out 200 copies of his therom inside of leather covered menu folders. The outside of the folders had a gold imprinted heading that read, "Nature of Space and Time by Stephen Hawking."

In the Nature of Space and Time, Hawking said/wrote,

"If you observe the number Z12.35 it appears to be a message but since numbers are universal and God created the universe then the message can only be from God. The Z looks like a 2 but it's not and if you remove the Z then you have 12.35. If you subtract 12 from 35 you get 23 which is 2.3 in the original message. In this explanation only, 2.3 is a representation of the 3d dimension. From 1-5, 2 is the first even number in matter and 3 is the first odd number in matter. 3 has one more element of matter which is missing in 2, for example: if you have two sets of marbles and each set has 2 marbles and you add one marble to one set then you have 3 marbles in that set while the other set only has 2 marbles. In this explanation only, 2.3 represents contrast. If you take the 1 and the 5 from 12.35 and you add them you get 6 and if you split 6 in half you get 3 which comes out to 3.3. Compare 2.3 and 3.3 and 3.3 means no contrast because there is a difference between 2 and 3 but there is no difference between 3 and 3. Contrast creates movement, depth, sound, distance, color, and vision in a 3rd dimensional world. If you stare at a black piece of paper you will not find any contrast. Examples of contrast are: hot/cold, darkness/light, fat/skinny/, big rock/small rock, small planet/big planet, small sun/big sun/, up/down, ocean/land, fish/mammal, flying/no flying, bird/man, plane/bird, movement/no movement, life/death, dark side of the moon/bright side of the moon, night/day, sleep/awake, front/back. For Example: In hunger/no hunger, if a lion feels no hunger then he does not chase the prey and there is no movement. If there is no depth or distance, then a woman can't reach up to get a can of beans from her kitchen cabinet and there is no movement. If a rock does not fall from high to low to strike the floor then there is no movement or sound. In this explanation only, 2.3 represents the 3rd demission and 3.3 represents the 4th dimension which has no matter for contrast. If you subtract 3 from 5 in 12.35 you get 2 and if you subtract 1 from 2 in 12.35 you get 1 which creates the image of 1.2 which represents the universe because 1 is the first element of matter and 2 is the second element of matter which shows the need for more than one element of matter to produce the universe and all living things in the universe. For example: A person needs more than one Lego to build a house. If you bring back Z and combine it with 1.2 then you get Z1.2 which represents the entire schematic for every different type of universe in eternity and that number is found at the beginning of Z12.35 or (Z12).(35) or (Z1.2).(3.5) which means Z1.2 represents the universe and 3.5 represents the first two odd numbers in matter which represents the only contrast in the 4th dimension which is "life exist/no life exist," If you close your eyes and you speak in your mind you can feel yourself alive in the 4th dimension because all the elements of 3.3 are there. You can conclude that your heart, which is beating, is temporarily keeping you partially alive in the 4th dimension. Since other life forms much more powerful than man live in the 4th dimension like fish live in an aquatic environment, then you can conclude those life forms are in your mind listening to you think and dream only as long as the heart keeps beating to maintain life in the brain. Your brain is partially immersed in their environment like a dolphin, that is a mammal, is only partially submerged in a fish's environment and it has to constantly surface to breath. If you take 2 out of 5 in 3.5 you end up with 3.3 which is the 4th dimension and the 2 is the same as the 2 in 1.2 which represents the contrast of existence in the 3d dimension, but it's an isolated 2 that only applies in the 4th dimension and that isolated 2 represents all the living things in the 4th dimension which are alive, but whose bodies are not composed of matter like in the case of human beings. The contrast of existence in the 4th dimension also proves that there are different types of life forms living in the 4th dimension which came from different places. Z1.2 represents the entire schematic for every different type of universe in eternity because the Z is a false 2 which gives the image of (Z,1.2) or (2,1.2). The false 2(Z) in the 3rd dimension represents non functional reality and the real 2 on the right side in the image represents functional reality which means (2,1.2) or (Z,1.2) is all the non functional reality and the functional reality in every different type of universe in eternity. For example: If you take a picture of a character in an animated magazine then you have an image of a non functional reality, but if you take a picture of cows grazing on a pasture then you have an image of a functional reality. Spiderman swinging from different buildings is a non functional reality, but a mountain climber using ropes is a functional reality. Religion is a non functional reality, but science is a functional reality. Religion is part of reality, but since it's not true it becomes a non functional reality. A folktale about werewolves is a non functional reality because werewolves don't exist, but a wolf attacking a human is a functional reality because the evolution of both those creatures is plausible. A Shakespeare story is a non functional reality even though some elements in the story came from a functional reality like the fact that Shakespeare was a real person and some situations in the stories came from a functional reality which repeats itself in the lives of some people both in the past and in the near future of human kind. A reality T.V. series is a functional reality because it is a direct copy of an actual occurrence in it's entirety. If an actor dressed as Spiderman enters the reality T.V. series, the series is functional up until the point they use special effects to make it appear the Spiderman character is swinging from different trees using spider string. Every universe in existence is divided into these two different types of realities. Z12.35 is a message which has no relevance to math or physics and has no further meaning inside of it except that which is shown."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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