Old woman is accused of genocide

Funny story written by Evil

Friday, 6 July 2012

image for Old woman is accused of genocide
Jack Be Nimble

An 89-year-old woman is being accused of committing genocide for dating an 18-year-old man by the name of Jack Be Nimble, from New York City.

The old woman is not capable of producing biological children making her a vessel of genocide.

The U.S. Congress is considering a law to punish old women who date or marry men of any age. The law won't punish old men and young women because old men and young women are able to produce offspring.

Interpol has issued a red notice on the old woman for the crime of ethnic cleansing for preventing Jack from producing children in their relationship.

"The law is clear, the old lady has gone through menopause and she's not capable of having biological children with Jack Be Nimble," said Khoo Bon Hui, president of Interpol.

Prosecutors in The Hague said they would show her hand in the crime.

The old woman has called the accusations "monstrous" and the court will enter a not guilty plea on her behalf.

"She intended to commit genocide because she was aware of the fact that she couldn't produce children because of her age," said Khoo Bon Hui.

In the law of genocide if a person imposes measures intended to prevent births within a group of individuals then the law mandates prosecution and punishment of that person.

In the case of the old woman, she imposed the method of dating to prevent her male lover from producing human life while copulation occurred. The law is very clear and direct in the matter.

The rights of the individual and the group from where he belongs are protected, weather it's a national group of males, a racial group, an ethnical group, or a religious group.

In whole or in part is measured by the percentage of 100. 100% meaning the whole and the numbers between 1-99 percent meaning in part.

If this were not the real case, then a loop hole could be created where five members of a group would be eradicated each month under pretenses until the entire group disappears and genocide laws would not apply.

Males as a group are in danger of genocide if old women date or marry them. The core essence of genocide is the biology of human life and not a philosophical opinion of a judge who does not observe science.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more