Angelina Jolie Furious As Brad Pitt Spotted At A Topless Bar

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 18 January 2012


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Angelina Jolie Furious As Brad Pitt Spotted At A Topless Bar
Friends of Angelina are worried that her jealousy is getting way, way out-of-control. (Photo by Whoopi Goldberg).

NEW YORK CITY - It is really no secret that the Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie relationship has had more ups and downs than the Cyclone Roller Coaster at Astroland in Brooklyn.

During their six years together the couple dubbed Brangelina have snickered and bickered more than Elton John and Madonna whose feud goes way back to 1988, when Elton John lashed out at the "Material Girl" calling her the "Material Untalented Girl."

And of course everyone recalls Madonna firing back by saying that Elton John was just jealous because he looked like an gay onion with hair.

According to Bedroom Pillow Talk, Jolie has become increasingly jealous of Brad and last November even yelled at him when he smiled a little too hard at a drive-thru employee at a McDonald's in New Orleans.

The interesting thing is that the employee appeared to be no more than 16 and was actually dressed in her high school cheerleader's uniform.

A close, unnamed, inside source who knows Pitt and Jolie very well says that Angelina remembers how she stole Brad away from Jennifer Aniston back in 2005, when she (Jolie) and Pitt were filming the musical comedy Mr. & Mrs. Smith in which Pitt played Mr. Smith and Jolie played Mrs. Smith.

And now that Angelina is pregnant she feels that Brad does not find her as attractive as he did when she pulled out all the stops to viciously and hatefully steal Brad from the all-American arms of America's and Greece's sweetheart, Jennifer "The Legs" Aniston.

In early December Gigi de Maupassant with France's Le News Agency wrote that she had heard from a very inside source that Pitt was planning on leaving Angie after the Christmas holidays.

But then he changed his mind when Jolie showed him the pregnant test strip which showed that she was pregnant with his child.

An unnamed, but reliable source who is employed in the Pitt - Jolie household told Le News that she had overheard Miss Angelina telling her close friend Whoopi Goldberg that she got pregnant on purpose.

And she stated that the reason why she did was so that Brad would not leave her for a young up and coming actress, 21-year-old Lollipop Wildstick, as one of the supermarket tabloids Just Saying had written in their Christmas edition.

Pitt and Jolie recently attended the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala in which Brad won the Best Actor for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball film Moneyball.

The next evening while Angelina took their half dozen kids to Central Park to feed the squirrels and marvel and the woodchucks, Brad was reportedly seen having a pretty good time at the Club VaVaVoom, which is a topless bar in Queens.

When Angelina found out about it she became so mad that she began yelling at her six kids and telling them that their father was acting like Charlie Sheen, but with blonde hair, a limp, and without that space cadet look about him.

FOOTNOTE: Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine will be coming out with a story in its February edition that includes an extensive interview with Angelina Jolie which reveals a tremendously insecure side of her. The article depicts Jolie as a woman who is so insanely jealous that she begins suffering from Hormonetosis Slipilitis which is an ailment that extremely jealous women get which causes their female sex hormones to become dislodged and can actually crash into their uterus if not treated immediately.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more