Joe Biden throws arms wide, exclaims: "I have this much smartness!"
Vice President Joe Biden defended himself against critics who say he may not be well suited to the job of Vice President by asserting, in clear terms, that he has "lots of brainyness" and "can count real high and add too." Speaking before...
Read full storyDustin Pedroia: Red Sox Lap Dog Bites Back
Dustin Pedroia has given an interview to end the August swoon with an explanation of the bad season by all. To say it is revisionist history, or spin, may be a stumbling attempt to take Dustin off the proverbial hook. Dustin offers that he left th...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Blames Her Vagina For the $50.000 Chateu Marmont Bill
Lindsay Lohan is shuffling the blame game from point A to point B once again. This time it's hotel bill, hotel bill, who owes the hotel bill. According to Lindsay she was under the impression the production Liz and Dick was picking up the tab in p...
Read full storyMillions of "black holes" found in the Royal Albert Hall, not space!
Sceintists have discovered millions of black holes and at first the scientific fraternity thought they were talking about those black holes a trillion miles away from earth; they could never have been further from the truth! The black holes have b...
Read full storyEU threatens Syria with accession to Eurozone
When the Assad regime does not retreat its troops before the 1th December, Syria will automatically be a member of the European Union. The EU hopes that this threat will force troops to retreat and violence to halt. Moody's has already responded b...
Read full storyA Series of Truly Disgusting, Sexually Explicit Jokes for Children With a Low Reading Age
Following the news of the decline in the number of pass grades in English Literature, the Stoodents Younion of Grate Britten have commissioned a re-print of the Blyton Book of Smut for distribution to all state schools. The following jokes are a random sample taken from it: A lady goes to the Police Station. "Can I help you?" says the policeman. "I hope so" says the lady. "You see, a man has...
Read full storyGovernment Considers Bringing Back The Workhouse
A leaked government document has revealed the coalitions plans to reduce our countries benefits bill. The solution? Bung the poor and needy into newly established workhouses. Government officials reckon all the UK's economic problems would be s...
Read full storyDuke of Edinburgh gets final warning
After reporting back for work last week, the Duke of Edinburgh has landed himself in hot water again by throwing another sickie. In a statement read out from Downing St this morning, the chairman of the royal select committee, Quentin Twiston-Shart,...
Read full storyThose on the Patriots Bench Are True Giants of the Game
The best playing of the evening took place about 30 minutes before kickoff when the Patriots took on the Giants in the final preseason game at the Meadowlands. If you missed the pregame highlights, you missed the best part of the evening's fun.
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - Ann Romney and Elisabeth Hasselbeck
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Hello Ann. Are you there? 9:01 a.m. Ann Romney: Yes, I'm here. How are ya Lizzy? 9:04 a.m. Elisabeth Hasselbeck: I'm great. And girlfriend let me say that I watched your GOP National Convention speech and you did fantastic. 9:09 a.m. Ann Romney: Thanks Lizzy. You don't think that I over did the color red do you? 9:12 a.m. Elisabeth Hassel...
Read full storyChristina Aguilera's Confession
LOS ANGELES - Christina Aguilera lately seems to be in the news more because of her weight gain than because of her singing or her participation on The Voice. Aguilera recently confessed to her hair stylist FuFi Fondue that she is getting tired of...
Read full storyPamela Anderson Predicts She'll Win This Season's Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - The always sultry looking Pamela Anderson recently stated that she is 45 going on 35. The actress, producer, author, and skimpy bikini swimsuit model was excited at being invited to participate in this year's Dancing With The Stars: The A...
Read full storyCollege freshman confident enough to masturbate in room now
ANN ARBOR, MI--Brian Pollack, a freshman at the University of Michigan, announced today that he was lifting his self-imposed ban on masturbating in the room he shares with fellow freshman Eric Edwards. Sources have confirmed that Pollack's new-found...
Read full storyDictionary Changes Word Misunderstanding to Lindsay Lohan
The scholars that decide what words will be added to the English dictionary have come to the conclusion that the word misunderstanding will be better served if it is changed to Lindsay Lohan. Seems a like a strange decision on the surface but if...
Read full storyWhitney Houston's Daughter Bobbi Kristina Marries Her Step-Brother
ATLANTA - Bobbi Kristina Brown, the 19-year-old daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby "Buster" Brown, has her entire family including aunts, uncles, cousins, and a grandmother all in a tissy. Bobbi Kristina, who looks nothing like her mother, repo...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Declaired A Biological Weather Front By National Weather Service
In an unprecedented move today the National Weather Service has for the first time, declared a human being a overwhelming force of nature. They deemed Lindsay Lohan a localized, biocane. A biocane is a human hurricane. A hurricane is a weather fro...
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