
Football Gossip & comments 11th August 2012
Luis Suarez agrees new long-term deal with Liverpool. (BBC Sport) He's going to racially abuse and refuse to shake hands with opposition players for even longer than originally expected. Dutch international Wesley Sneijder is urging Inter Milan to buy his team-mate, 27-year-old midfielder Nigel de Jong, from Manchester City. (Metro) He also wants a push-bike, a packet of sweets and a new c...
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Dwight Howard Leaves MagicLand For LaLaLand
LOS ANGELES - The general manager of the Los Angeles Lakers Mitch Kupchak has just announced to the sports media that he is as happy as a termite on a viking ship. Kupchak spoke personally with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily and said...
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Joan Rivers Has Mixed Feelings About Her Latest Honor
HOLLYWOOD - Comedian Joan Rivers is like the Everready Bunny who just keeps on going and going. The undisputed "Queen of Mean" can fire off razor sharp barbs at celebrities, politicians, and sports figures quicker than anyone on the face of the E...
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Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough has said that ever since he started dancing at a very young age people have naturally assumed that he rode sidesaddle. He says that nothing could be farther from the truth. The Dancing With The Stars...
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LeAnn Rimes To Host A Cooking Show
LOS ANGELES - Country singer LeAnn Rimes has just said that her dream has finally come through. The extremely skinny singer who has had such hits as "How Do I Live," "Blue," and Blue Moo Moo" has just been signed by the Nourishment Network to hos...
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Another Lottery Millionaire reveals herself
There was good news from lottery organisers, who have been concerned of late about the number of unclaimed winning tickets from various games. Despite scantily clad women pushing the button to operate the machines every Saturday on BBC1, there are...
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Linda McMahon, Sexy Bitch
"If this is an effective way to reach an important segment of the voting population, women, then we're happy to do it." Tim Murtaugh, a spokesman for Linda McMahon, former wrestling executive and Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate from Conne...
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Pendleton and Murray to team up for Rio 2016
Multiple track cycling medallist Victoria Pendleton has made a shock U-turn on her retirement from Olympic action, as it has been revealed that she is set to team up with men's tennis gold medallist Andy Murray in Brazil in 2016. The pair are set to...
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Mitt Romney's Past Thug Life in Gangster Rap Group Comes to Light
The Washington Post has recently reported details from Governor Mitt Romney's past that may derail the presumptive Republican candidate's goal of the White House in the 2012 Presidential Election. Quoting a variety of anonymous sources, the Post has...
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Man's underpants arrested walking in Milton Keynes shopping centre!
A pair of estranged, man's underpants were arrested today in Milton Keynes shopping centre. They crept under the noses of security guards who were busy searching in young teenage girls handbags hoping to find a pair of nicked knickers or two. Appa...
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Misty May-Treanor Wins Gold, Does The, "I Got's Ants In My Pants, Dance", In Celebration
Misty May-Treanor, 3 time gold winner in womens volleyball, celebrated her victory with a curious little dance number. The stereotype that white people just can't dance has been around since the beginning of the art form. It's never been proven bu...
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"Ask not what your country can do for you---ask what you can do ---to save your own sorry ass!"
Politico is reporting today that the Romney campaign is in full victory mode as Election Day approaches. On one leaked transcript Romney is heard practicing his inaugural address and evidently he will be wasting no time in telling America how he is g...
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Tiddlywinks to become an Olympic sport in 2016!
The IOC have confirmed the fact that Tiddlywinks, Snakes & Ladders, Ludo & Scrabble will all become Olympic sports in 2016. Scrabble seems to be a slight problem because of the language barrier, but as usual Seb Coe got his way and forced to...
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Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood
While the bars stayed open late in Jamaica, after the 200m success of Usian Bolt and his team-mates last night, the fish and chip shops of Manningham was where the greatest celebration took place. It has been revealed that Bolt is yet another succ...
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Hank Williams Jr. Writes A Country Song About Randy Travis
NASHVILLE - Hank Williams Jr., is no stranger when it comes to the world of drinking. In fact, during his career he has been named Country Music's Drinkingest Singer four times by the highly respected Country Sounds Coalition Federation based in Toad...
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Rob Pattinson Believes Kristen Stewart Also Had Affairs With Charlie Sheen and Hugh Hefner
LOS ANGELES - Close friends of Twilight star Rob Pattinson say that he is still extremely upset about his former girlfriend Kristen Stewart's affair with her Snow White And The Huntsman accent coach Rayburn Fandersketti. Pattinson has learned from...
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Football Gossip & comments 10th August 2012
Liverpool boss could sell Daniel Agger to Manchester City. (BBC Sport) If they sell Agger, where will they get their defensive swagger? And who will move like Mick Jagger? Team USA win the Olympic Womens Football Gold Medal, gaining revenge on Japan who beat them in last years World Cup Final. People said Team USA had no hope against Japan, but of course they had Hope Solo (not Hans Solo)...
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Lady Gaga's Secret Tryst With Jon Gosselin
MANHATTAN - When it comes to men, Lady Gaga has never been shy nor has she ever needed anyone to act as matchmaker. She recently dumped her boyfriend Taylor Kinney because, as she put it, she got tired of him always telling her how talented she wa...
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