Pendleton and Murray to team up for Rio 2016

Funny story written by SportzBus

Friday, 10 August 2012

image for Pendleton and Murray to team up for Rio 2016
One of the main rivals to Murray and Pendleton in 2016

Multiple track cycling medallist Victoria Pendleton has made a shock U-turn on her retirement from Olympic action, as it has been revealed that she is set to team up with men's tennis gold medallist Andy Murray in Brazil in 2016. The pair are set to compete in the mixed doubles crying event, and there are high hopes amongst team GB that they could bring Britain its first medal in crying since Paul Gascoigne won bronze in the men's individual crying event at Barcelona 1992.

"They are both world class performers." A team GB insider who wished to remain anonymous told Sporzbus in an exclusive interview. "Pendleton has been unable to give an interview about even the most mundane topics without breaking down in tears, or at least welling-up, in years, whilst Murray's sobbing at Wimbledon was a seminal moment in the field of competitive crying. If they are able to replicate this kind of form it is hard to look beyond them as gold medal candidates."


Sources close to Murray suggest the Scot is excited at the prospect of teaming up with Pendleton in Rio, and the British number 1 himself was able to reveal that the preparation for 2016 had already begun. "I just bought 'Bambi' on DVD, and I've just texted Vicki to see if she wants to come over to watch it and have a good cry." He revealed. "She hasn't texted back yet, but I'm sure she'll be up for it and it should be good training for Rio. I also have 'Titanic', but I'm not sure if Vicki's ready for that yet, she'd be weeping for days. That kind of performance would be brilliant in the Olympics, but we don't want to waste all our tears in training before the big event."


However the news of Murray teaming up with Pendleton is said to have caused further friction between him and girlfriend Kim Sears, who was said to already be frustrated by the sheer number of high-fives exchanged between Murray and Laura Robson during their silver medal winning campaign at this year's Olympics. "I don't see why he can't just watch 'Bambi' with me." She posted on Twitter. "What makes this Pendleton woman so special?"


Murray though was quick to deny any reports of any unrest between him and Sears. "The relationship between me and Vicki is strictly professional." He confirmed. "I'd be more than happy to watch 'Bambi' with Kim, but I don't think she'd even cry as she never does, it's like she's some kind of icewoman or something, dead inside. Vicki's too old for me anyway, so Kim has nothing to worry about." When asked if, by that logic, Laura Robson was therefore too young for him, Murray responed awkwardly: "Erm… yeah, of course. Oh yeah…. sure. Yes."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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