Peter Andre Admits: Part One.....
Peter Andre has got himself into trouble with child rights groups all over the world and not in a Gary Glitter way. Peter, who was arrested yesterday morning at Mozambique International Airport, had admitted to attending organized child fights all ov...
Read full storyScience Reports Good News and Bad News About Meaning of Life
Are you a spiritual seeker? Hundreds of Americans reportedly are. For instance, for his whole life, Josh Carlton of New York City has been trying to find love. Stephanie Lambert of San Francisco wants to find the meaning of life. For Leigh Shields o...
Read full storyUS Secret Service motto: ''Worthy of trust and confidence. Buy one, get one free!"
As guests at the elegant Cartagena's Hotel in Cartagena, Columbia were enjoying quiet drinks and the soft music of a harpist in the hotel lounge, several agents of the US Secret Service burst through the front door of the hotel. "It was like a scene...
Read full storyMitt Romney Tax Returns Made Public
While attempting to prevent the general public and investigative reporters from viewing the Romney tax returns, (before the Presidential election) Mr. Romney successfully asked for and received a six-month extension. Hoping to keep the documents unde...
Read full storyStalker day a great success for card shops
High Street card shops have hailed the National Stalker and Harassment Day a great success, with millions of cards sold nationwide. "We're really glad that the government have come up with this new day to accompany Mother's Day, Grandparent's Day,...
Read full story'Final Solution' for Energy Crisis
The government is set to scrap up to 10,000 wind turbines in favour of 2,000,000 exercise bikes to meet the countries future energy needs. Harking back to the workhouse, benefits will be scrapped and all able bodied scroungers will be encouraged...
Read full storyUK Pensioners complain as their meals on wheels arrive cold; the vehicle was clamped!
UK Clampers, better known as ruthless modern "Highwaymen" or callous thieves and nothing to do with Dick Turpin, decided to do their "good deed of the day" in Poole, Dorset, by clamping a Meals on wheels van. The driver was delivering a warm meal...
Read full storyObama First President To Have Eaten Man's Best Friend: Michelle Puts Bo On Endangered Specie List
BILLINGSGATE POST - President Obama reveals he was fed dog meat as a young boy in Indonesia while living with his stepfather, Lolo Soetoro. Has anyone seen Bo lately? Small wonder that Michelle has a court order prohibiting Barack from seeing Bo un...
Read full storyDepressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty
Tommy and Kathleen Morley of Simsbury, Connecticut, breathed an enormous sigh of relief when it was announced that Connecticut will repeal its death penalty statute. The Morleys' 17-year-old son, Rob, had been arrested over a dozen times on charges ranging from petty shoplifting to arson, and Rob's parents could tell that their depressed son was on a dangerous track toward committing more and more...
Read full storyGod, Allah And Jehovah Were Walking Along a Heavenly Path, Arguing As Usual......
God, Allah and Jehovah were walking along a heavenly path, arguing as usual. "Your people are causing trouble again and again and again!" God scolded Allah. "Well, if Mr. Jehovah didn't insist on having the Jewish paradise in the middle of our land then things might be a lot more relaxed." retorted Allah. "As I remember your people came charging through the entire Mid East a thousand yea...
Read full storyPolls Show Most Americans Think Election Already Happened
While America is known for its widespread voter apathy, recently reported levels of sheer voter ignorance still managed to astound long-time political analysts when polls revealed that nearly 72% of Americans believe that the 2012 presidential electi...
Read full storyLondon 2012: Team GB 'will win 27 golds at Olympics' says local man
Team GB will win 27 gold medals at the Olympic Games, by far its largest haul in a century, according to an Irishman who drinks in a pub opposite the Olympic Site. Seamus O'Derekson, 49, from Bow Road, East London, says he plucked the figure out o...
Read full storyLove to Love You Baby!
In a vain attempt to regain tens of thousands of lost customers and some of it's zero rating credibility after last years so-called, 'price blitz' which saw prices actually skyrocketing, Tesco Supermarkets plan to put 'love' back into the chain. T…
Read full storyKnights Templar fury at Anders Breivik slur
London - In a spooky echo reminiscent of 'He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty little boy' a direct descendant of Knights Templar Grand Master Jacques de Molay has hit out over daft 'sacred initiation' claims by accused Norwegian mass murde...
Read full storyElizabeth Taylor's missing pooch 'Delilah' spotted at North Korean restaurant
Los Angeles - The search spread to Downtown's Pyongyang Dim Sum Delight restaurant today where Ms Taylor's million dollar Maltese terrier Delilah was spotted eating from an ornate silver bowl. According to reports in today's LA HagFagSlagMag.con's...
Read full storyArgentina Row Escalates Over Evita Grab
Relations between Argentina and the rest of the world worsened today following the nationalisation of a popular stage musical. Argentina was left isolated yesterday when president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner announced the nationalisation of Yac...
Read full storyLondon 'Must Pay To Clean Up Scots Oil Rigs'
An unseemly diplomatic row is festering between the Scottish Parliament and Whitehall following comments by the SNP energy minister concerning decommissioned oil rigs. Fergus Ewing told the Commons Energy Committee that Westminster should pick up...
Read full storyUS Bond Girls
American secret agents who have been trying to recruit women to be involved in spying, in an effort to reach sex equality targets have been unfairly accused of seeking 'bits on the side'. A vigorous internal examination of all the evidence is bein...
Read full storyAn Open Letter to the Biggest Red Sox Fan: Mitt Romney!
Mitt Romney, Red Sox Nation turns its lonely eyes to you. We know where you have gone-out looking for a Republican Vice Presidential candidate. What a thankless job. Stop! A crisis of international proportions needs your attention! The Red So...
Read full storyThe Inseine spring collection 2012
Here are some more T-shirt slogans for you to try in this exciting year. They will certainly turn heads! * Anybody Seen My Mind? I Know it's Around Here Somewhere... * Save the Drama for your Mama. * Official Member of the Conjugal Visitors Program. * Official Member of the Fashion Police Academy. * My Long Term Goal is to Get Rick Quick. * I speak Sarcasm as a Second Language. * Dyslexi...
Read full storyKaty Perry Goes Purple
INDIO, California - Katy Perry showed up at The Coachella Music Festival wearing pink Daisy Duke shorts, a Los Angeles Dodgers jersey, a Chicago Bulls cap, and sporting a brand new hair look in regards to color. The big-eyed Perry proudly boasted...
Read full storyGovernment Gone Wild to air on E! TV.
Today the E! Entertainment Television network announced they will soon introduce a new reality show called Government Gone Wild. The show will be aimed primarily at mature (read that "senior citizen") audiences who are increasingly peeved by revelat...
Read full storyUS Finalizes Columbian Rough Trade Agreement
Washington, D.C.-The United States has completed a rough trade agreement with the nation of Columbia following a short fact finding tour by members of the Secret Service to check on the quality of that nation's hookers. The new rough trade agreeme...
Read full storyThe Reason Dancing With The Stars' Gavin DeGraw Was Eliminated
HOLLYWOOD - It is no secret that the three judges on Dancing With The Stars have basically no sense of humor to speak of. Len Goodman is from England and the old geezer is known as "The Grouchy Grouch." Goodman is from the old school and he absolu...
Read full storyObama to Visit The United States Next Month
Washington, D.C.-Bararck Obama will make a three day visit to the United States next month as part of a whirlwind tour of the Americas. The visit, scheduled for May 25th through the 28th, will be only the fourth visit by Mr. Obama to the United State...
Read full storyGay Rumors Fly Regarding Dallas Mavericks Delonte "Wet Willie" West
DALLAS - The rumor mill is working overtime as the latest sports rumor concerns Delonte West, 28, of the Dallas Mavericks who was given a technical for sticking his finger in the right ear of Utah Jazz player Gordon Hayward, 22. The Jazz ended up...
Read full storyFucking Village To Change Name
The village of Fucking, which is just north of Salzburg in Austria, has decided to ballot residents on a change of name. This move follows years of ridicule and being the butt of many poor taste jokes. The village dates back to the middle ages and...
Read full storyNaugas Placed on the Endangered Species List
Washington DC: Based on recommendations of the US Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) President Obama has placed the Nauga on the endangered species list (ESL). The endangered species act (ESA) was passed by Congress in 1973. The USFWS can decide to...
Read full storyPlastic Surgery Shifts Focus to Chins, Foreheads
Forget facelifts, fake boobs and hair transplants. The American public has tired of these old-line classics in their efforts to beat Father Time. In fact, the biggest craze in plastic surgery focus on "chinplants," forehead downsizing, and the "Pop...
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