'Final Solution' for Energy Crisis

Funny story written by Jimbo123

Wednesday, 18 April 2012


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for 'Final Solution' for Energy Crisis
"on the road again"

The government is set to scrap up to 10,000 wind turbines in favour of 2,000,000 exercise bikes to meet the countries future energy needs.

Harking back to the workhouse, benefits will be scrapped and all able bodied scroungers will be encouraged to 'get on their bike' to power Britain, lose weight, stop drinking, stop fighting and stop having sex.

Chris Boardman gave a demonstration today at a 'bike camp' in Dalston in London where he was able to generate the needs for the Underground system, although the average rookie won't be expected to manage more than an electric fan before the expected purge this autumn.

Instead of watching TV and threatening neighbours, claimants will be invited to work in 8 hour shifts upon which they will receive a printed receipt which can then be exchanged for goods. The amount will depend on their weight, vulnerability and wattage. Heroin addicts will not be allowed to dismount to 'score' midshift.

A spokeswomen commented 'it kills about 5 birds with one stone; less infrastructure to build, no global warming, police stations empty. Great!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more