Gay Rumors Fly Regarding Dallas Mavericks Delonte "Wet Willie" West

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

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Gordon Hayward was awarded the game ball after Delonte "Wet Willie" West's nasty finger-in-the-ear.

DALLAS - The rumor mill is working overtime as the latest sports rumor concerns Delonte West, 28, of the Dallas Mavericks who was given a technical for sticking his finger in the right ear of Utah Jazz player Gordon Hayward, 22.

The Jazz ended up winning the game in triple overtime 123-121, but the story of the game was not the game but the astoundingly queer (weird) fact that a grown man (West) would resort to such a childish act of sticking his nasty finger in another man's ear.

The Utah Jazz game announcer Craig Bolerjack could not believe what he saw and as a result the play was rerun at least seven times, including in slow motion, and even backwards.

Bolerjack stated that if "Wet Willie" West had tried that sissy stuff with Metta World Peace of the Los Angeles Lakers or LeBron James of the Miami Heat, the punk's butt would have ended up in the fourth row somewhere.

After the game Hayward told Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Weekly that he has had several 'wet willies' before but that each time it was from females. He said that if he was one of West's Maverick teammates he would sure be extra careful in the showers.

Hayward who wears number 20 said that several of the Jazz players have wondered if West may be of the sidesaddle-riding persuasion. One player who did not want his name mentioned said that the name Delonte kind of gives him away.

Mavericks Coach Rick Carlisle was asked by Reno if he was going to issue any disciplinary action to "Wet Willie" West for his somewhat gayish act.

Carlisle laughed and said that he told West that he does not want him making goo-goo eyes at any of the other Mav players and that if he does he will find himself traded to the San Francisco Dribblettes of the West Coast Gay Semi-Pro Basketball League.

FOOTNOTE: Reports out of LaLaLand are that Delonte West has just become Dancing With The Stars' Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli's favorite NBA player.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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