Justin Timberlake and Girlfriend Mila Kunis Are Still Receiving Some Flak For Their MTV Movie Awards Show Groping
SANTA MONICA - Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis were recently having a nice quiet dinner at The Shanghai Sue Sushi Sandwich Shop. The happy couple was approached by Pia Confetti of The El Lay Informer who said that they looked like a couple of sch...
Read full storyJared Padalecki sacked from new film after he cuts his hair
Jared Padalecki has been sacked from his latest movie after it became apparent to the director that the star of Supernatural and several films including House of Wax, had been to the hairdressers and got a hair cut. "The whole point was that he ha...
Read full storyStudy Proves Leaders Tie Their Shoes
After four years of undergraduate studies at Harvard University, Gavin McCloud hypothesized that great leaders tie their shoes. For all four years as a psychology major he watched people tie their shoes. "I knew I was on to something," said McC...
Read full storyDomestic issues on the increase
A new study has confirmed recently what marriage counselling has long feared, troubles within marriages are on the increase. With one in five couples reporting having problems in the first two weeks of wedded bliss and three out of the same remai...
Read full storyAretha Franklin - Not A Patch On Lady Gaga? - Local Man Says "B*ll*cks!"
Local man and self proclaimed idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, appears to have been enjoying his Saturday stint as a critic of the arts. Having already explored the inner workings of Marilyn Manson (But not in a gay way) Shuttlecock was quick to jump to th...
Read full story'Unexpected Item In Gagging Area' as cops slap Official Secrets injunction on broadsheet
London - The mobile hacking scandal took an unexpected twist this weekend with police demanding to know the ID of a whistleblower who grassed up The Guardian about, er, stuff. The paper blew the lid on Red Top snooping of murdered Surrey schoolgir...
Read full storyMarilyn Manson - Quite A Talented Artist Actually, A Bit Like A Homicidal Salvador Dali
Local man, art critic and pork pie hat champion, Martin Shuttlecock, was today treated to his first view of shock rocker Marilyn Manson's artwork. Manson's work has been critically acclaimed by various media weirdos, such as Sharon and Ozzy Osbour...
Read full storyAlien can 'host' the Queen if IRA bastard becomes Prez
Belfast - Born again IRA bastard Martin McGuinness is in a secret coalition deal to encourage an extraterrestrial lookalike to 'host' Queen Elizabeth when the current incumbent finally pops her clogs. The solution means the feckless Provo Queen ca...
Read full storyChelsea Declare All Out War On Manchester United - It Could Be A Bloodbath
There's certainly no denying moneybags Chelsea's determination to succeed in Sunday's Old Trafford clash with table topping Manchester United. They've promised to go to Old Trafford and wipe the floor with Fergie's youthful Red Devils. Under new b...
Read full story'The Dorking Review' Flies Off The Shelves...In Worthing...And Dorking...
A strange new book, entitled 'The Dorking Review' may not be taking the world by storm, but it's going down a bomb in Worthing...and, surprisingly enough, Dorking. Booksellers and librarians in the aforementioned towns report receiving orders and...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - The number 852 bus to be removed
Residents of Ryde are up in arms today after the shock revelation that the number 852 bus is to be removed from the schedule. "This is intolerable," said Jasper Featherington-Wright, 89. "The 852 is the only bus that connects Ryde to Newport. If w...
Read full storyDave's Doggy-Sitting List - With Martin Shuttlecock.
Went to see Dave today. He's my brother in law, married to the wife's sister, Bunty. Lovely couple they are, salt of the earth Midlands people. Down to earth, realistic, and people who value the truly important things in life - like family, friends, and who are selflessly always prepared to look out for other people. They've got three sons, great lads one and all, who've left home now, and are...
Read full storyBachmann on Leno: admits error re. HPV vaccine comment, says instead that it causes lesbianism
HOLLYWOOD, Calif.--Michele Bachmann followed in Obama's footsteps by putting her foot in her mouth on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." When Leno pressed Bachmann on the topic regarding the HPV vaccine, Bachmann conceded, "Well, I wasn't speaking...
Read full storyPhilately to be Added to the 2012 Summer Olympics
In a stunning decision, the International Committee has announced that the thrilling sport of philately will be added to 2012 Summer Olympics. Philately is more commonly known as "stamp collecting", Hell, even I had to look the fucking word up...
Read full storyAn Extremely Bitter Lindsay Lohan Will Not Be Giving Ex-Girlfriend Samantha Ronson and Her Future Wife A Wedding Gift
VENICE BEACH - The poor, little, troubled, and misunderstood starlet Lindsay Lohan reportedly threw one hell of a hissy fit when she learned that her long time ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson has asked her new belly bumpin' girlfriend to marry her.
Read full storySurf and Turf, Hurricane Style
This is a fish story. Not a "fishy" story, but a story about fish. Hurricane Irene wreaked havoc for many a few weeks ago, but it created a unique experience for a group of fish in an upscale community in Westchester, New York, when huge waves from The Sound topped beach barricades and overflowed into the swimming pool of an exclusive yacht club. A number of fish from the sea rode the wave...
Read full storyKirstie Alley and George Lopez Seen French Kissing At A Victoria's Secret In La Brea
LA BREA - Several phone calls were made to the home office of the entertainment news publication Bedroom Pillow Talk regarding a Kirstie Alley-George Lopez sighting. BPT reporter Summersetter Faxx stated that three different individuals said they...
Read full storyFBI releases fool-proof methods to prevent hackers from stealing nude celebrity pics
WASHINGTON, D.C.--FBI Director Robert B. Miller announced today a four-pronged approach to prevent hackers from stealing nude images of celebrities, this in light of the hacked cell phones and stolen pics this week of Hollywood stars Scarlett Johanss...
Read full storyArmed man barricaded in Arizona air base announces demands
TUCSON, Arizona--Davis-Monthan Air Force Base was on lockdown Friday as authorities investigated "suspicious activity." This was upgraded to "extremely suspicious and downright dangerous activity" when it was determined that an armed man was holed up...
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