Adam Werritty Ditches Foxy For Unusual New Job
The whereabouts of the illusive Adam Werrity has been revealed and its a shocker that has taken the music world by storm. The reason for this is that Mr Werritty has ditched Liam Fox and joined... The Stone Roses. Mr Werrity was spotted in the lin...
Read full storyApple announces edible iPhone
From its Cupertino California Headquarters, Apple Corporation's Self-Philanthropic Division just announced the imminent release of its revolutionary product, an edible iPhone. Called the iFood, the new phone has two target markets. Spokesman Isa W...
Read full storyGilad Schalit Fearful Of Repeat Kidnap Attempts
Gilad Schalit, the young Israeli soldier released by Hamas on Tuesday in exchange for one thousand Palestinian prisoners, has revealed that he is living in fear of repeat kidnap attempts, not only from Hamas, but also from groups such as Al Qaeda.
Read full storyThe Beginner's Guide Part 1: Ten Things To Know About Space
In the first of our handy beginner's guides, we delve in to the mysterious, and often mind-jangling field of space! What is it? Where did it come from? Who, or what is in it? All these things, and a few more, will be answered in our easily printable guide. For the full on novice, or the more studied amateur, this top ten fact-file will impress and delight, enabling you to talk knowledgeab...
Read full storyGermaine Greer wins housewife of the year
Populist ardent feminist and Australian, Germaine Greer has won Belle Magazine's Housewife of the Year, much to the annoyance of Prunella Scales, who has won it for the last seventeen years consecutively. "We feel Ms Scales has contributed all she...
Read full storyThe Duchess of Cornwall's Tips For Buying a Second-Hand Motorbike
Now that one can no longer romp around the countryside chasing foxes on horseback... One's self on horseback, not the foxes you understand. One is obliged to take up other open-air activities during the week-end. Alongside shooting and seal-clubbing, one of the most invigorating pastimes that I've found is the riding of a motorcycle. But what motorized bicycle to purchase? For the beginne...
Read full storyStudy that claims larger brain areas for many-friended Facebookers wreacking havoc at Vermont college
HARFOLD, Vt.--The student body at Harfold State College is at odds with a recently-released U.K. study. British researchers are claiming that Facebook users with lots of friends tend to have larger areas of the brain than do those who have less frien...
Read full storyFuture job creator wasting time in Congress
Washington D.C.--Rep. Paul Ryan is wasting his talents as a potential job creator by spending all his free time trying to stick it to poor and middle-class Americans by creating bills that only help increase his own personal wealth. "I know that I...
Read full storyDorking Review "Flying Off Shelves" Thanks To Negative Review Campaign
US online retailer Narnes & Boble are reporting unprecedented demand for publishing sensation The Dorking Review. The controversial book, published in September, features the lunatic ramblings of a group of writers often to be found skulking a...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Watches As Carson Kressley Skips Off Into The California Sunset
HOLLYWOOD - One of the most animated celebrities to ever appear in the 13 season history of Dancing With The Stars Carson Kressley is the latest to be eliminated. Kressley, who is noted for being a fashion expert or as he likes to call himself, an...
Read full storyEnglish bank tells its customers to F++k off in the written form!
A British high street bank, beginning with H and ending with an X (certificate) has adopted a brand new customer policy for those wishing to apply for credits. They are writing to their customers and telling them to "f++k off" because they have no...
Read full storyPrince Andrew's daughters special business knowledge wasted
Prince Andrew is reported to be absolutely livid that his daughters are being prevented from becoming working royals. It has long been common knowledge that Andrew believes his family are genetically suited for their role and since he is now the 'sen...
Read full storyObama pans for gold under White House lawn
Washington - It's a genius master-stroke by the President, destined to wipe out America's entire trillion-dollar overdraft thanks to soaring world gold bullion prices. Pictured this week a massive 100ft x 100ft crater off the North Lawn confirms t...
Read full storyAll football fans are mugs
At a recent FIFF meeting (Football Is Finally Finished), Mr Porkypies'n Batter gave a resounding insight into what he thought of people connected with football. "It's quite simple. The whole lot of them are mugs. It has been my total life's ambit...
Read full storyInflation to reach peak soon
The governor of the Bank of England is sure Inflation has reached its peak in Britain and will come down just in time for the next election. Unemployment will also only rise a bit more before slowly going down to coincide with the reduced inflation j...
Read full storyCBS Poll suggests 67% of Voters believe Ron Paul is a Founding Father
NEW YORK CITY - A recent CBS poll found that more than two-thirds of Americans believe that Ron Paul is a founding father. Ironically, that is what Ron Paul has been trying to tell the people since the beginning. Each time Ron Paul talks about el...
Read full storyGreat Britain PLC on a new high - unofficially leaked information!
"The UK is on so many highs at the moment, so we should not be putting down these record breaking efforts created by the Coalition Government". The claim comes from the Chancellor of the Exchequer's second secretary's assistant filing clerk's part...
Read full storyTea Party demands to see Occupy Wall St. birth certificate
ALASKA - As Occupy Wall St. protests continue to expand in influence other brand revolutionaries are becoming less relevant. Occupy Wall, now entering their fifth week of demonstrations in lower Manhattan's Zuccotti Park, has rubbed the shoulders of...
Read full storyIran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad outright denies the existence of Occupy Wall St,
TEHRAN - On Tuesday, the President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad outright rejected the notion that protests are taking place in New York City and around the world. He pointed to the absence of news coverage on Iranian television and his visit to the Un...
Read full storyBlagojevich threatens to boycott commissary if sent to jail
CHICAGO - The former governor of Illinois who was convicted on attempts to sell Barack Obama's senate seat among other corruption charges has a new line of threats for the powers that he used to be. "Don't think I will actually use the money I go...
Read full storyMcDonald's goes buffet after man sues for portion control
GEORGIA - McDonald's executives have been scurrying all around the United States to reconstruct their restaurants to fit a buffet style system. Even their website have changed to reflect the new look of their policies advertising 'as many burgers as...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Twenty-three
A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, starting in August 1947 For three years, I actually took a proper holiday away, fishing with three mates from the Robin Hood Angling Club - Bill Bates, and Jock Kirkpatrick, and Mad Ken. Chapter 37 - The Angling Holidays - Number 3@3 - Athlone, Ireland We managed to get to the Liverpool/Dublin Line Ferry...
Read full storyBrenda Song Is Thrilled Beyond Belief To Be Marrying Trace Cyrus and Becoming Miley Cyrus' Sister-In-Law
CUCAMONGA - The star of the Disney Channel's The Suite Life of Zack and Cody Brenda Star was recently spotted at The Bouncing Baby Store For Celebrities in Cucamonga looking at baby rattles, baby pacifiers, and baby bloomers not to be confused with b...
Read full storyIn An Attempt To Boost Sagging Revenue New U.S. Postage Stamps Featuring Nude Female Celebrities Will Soon Be Available For Purchase
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The last time that the United States Postal System was in such a financial mess Paul Revere was riding through the streets of Pocatello, Idaho shouting that the redcoats were coming and that you could not miss them because they wer...
Read full storyScientists Conclude the Soul is Composed of Dark Matter
Scientists, today, announced they believe they have solved the longest standing problem in human history. Unsure why they never thought of this before, they reticently admitted that the idea of something so undetectable and frankly impossible as Dark...
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