Tea Party demands to see Occupy Wall St. birth certificate

Funny story written by Alvin Taveras

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

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ALASKA - As Occupy Wall St. protests continue to expand in influence other brand revolutionaries are becoming less relevant. Occupy Wall, now entering their fifth week of demonstrations in lower Manhattan's Zuccotti Park, has rubbed the shoulders of Tea Party activists the wrong way.

In fact, its no longer about which shoulders are being rubbed, but more so about who's doing the rubbing. Tea Party luminaries argue that in the last five weeks, the death of Steve Jobs, the Blackberry global outage, and the New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies not playing in the World Series suggests that Occupiers are behind these disruptions.

It is true, that Tea Party activists have had an insurmountable trouble networking over smartphones due to the Blackberry outage since most of them are predominantly corporate. However, to suggest that the Occupiers are some kind of invisible hand and are behind the above three mentioned events is nothing short of provocative.

The fact is that Occupiers suspended protests a few days before the iPhone4s release in order to stand in line and wait for the store to open three days later. Even Mayor Bloomberg knows no one waits on line for a phone that long if they don't like Steve Jobs.

Furthermore, Blackberry's outage shut down because it operates from a country called Canada. And the Yankees not playing in the World Series is simply not true. Everyone knows that Major League baseball ended their season earlier and decided to display a minor league series in its stead.

Tensions have reached its highest, however, ever since the Tea Party jump-on-the-bandwagon Donald Trump went on his reality show, The Apprentice, to demand to see Occupy Wall Street's birth certificate.

Occupiers believe that the reason why Donald Trump is on television is because the majority of Americans resonate with their message over the Tea Party and Donald Trump likes to be on television.

No word yet if the Occupiers will take the bait on releasing their birth certificate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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