Headmistress at Spoof writer's alma mater spurned Blair gong in Iraq War protest
Yorkshire - Miss Verrity Blewstocking, MA Oxon (Hons), confirmed today she'd been schmoozed 'for more than five years' by Tony Blair to accept a damehood for service to education. "I first turned it down on aesthetic grounds," the headmistress of...
Read full storyWhy I Didn't Write
Dear Naomi, In response to your last E-mail which asked why I didn't respond quickly to your assertion that somehow, I seemed to be ignoring you. Let me say that there could be many reasons for a delay in response, none of which have anything to do with an intentional thumbing of the nose at your correspondence. You see, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. In fact, a plane crashed i...
Read full storyWisconsin lost more jobs in October, but Scott Walker still happy with his progress
Madison, Wis--Scott Walker was still touting the fact he didn't raise taxes to balance the budget. "I am the CEO of the state of Wisconsin and I am doing a great job. People should get off my back. I made the tough choices of sticking to union wor...
Read full storyRepublicans can't accept cheating black man
Washington--The Republican Party can accept rich black men, but they can't accept cheating rich black men that sleep with white women. "I don't believe Republicans are that transparent, but I do think they still don't like the idea of a black man...
Read full storyDaniel Craig's James Bond Girl no. 23 is Kim Kardashian
The 23rd James Bond film 'Skyfall' is scheduled to open just before next year's Presidential election and the pre film publicity machine is already in full gear with James Bond 21, 22 and 23 Daniel Craig blasting Bond Girl 23 Kim Kardashian and the o...
Read full storyiPhone 4 Specifications
I was quite fascinated when I was looking at the iPhone 4 specifications, and was particularly intrigued by something within the camera. It is called the Backside Illumination Sensor. I just wonder what it really does? All kinds of things were going through my mind and I came to the conclusion that if you were coming into close proximity to a celebrity or someone you think that the sun shines o...
Read full storyBryanAir introduce a step tax
BryanAir, the airline that gives you more for more, or less for less, depending on the starting point, is to introduce a step tax. "The concept is very simple," said Ryan Heir, the chairman, spokesman and sometimes pilot of the low-cost, slow-coac...
Read full storyShock Report: "Strikes Worse Than Snow"
A shock report from a think tank,financed by someone in the Cayman Islands, has declared that the Public Service strikes are worse than last year's snow. 'The snow was cold but in the nature of things. The Public Service Strike, on the other hand,...
Read full storyQueen's Last Will & Testament found intact in Palace shredder bins
London - Someone who's never seen it nor scanned the revised codicils likened it to a 'Goodbye Cruel World' suicide note as rumors flooded the internet today. Fortunately some nifty cyberhacking moves have revealed the contents are linked directly...
Read full storyBilbo Baggins on his way to The Hague
The popular fictional character Bilbo Baggins has an arrest warrant out on him for crimes against humanity in Ivory coast, however some are questioning the validity of the warrant believing it to be for Laurent Gbagbo 'Baggins.' Interpol, having i...
Read full storyPompey - By Royal Appointment?
As Portsmouth FC finds itself embroiled in yet another financial scandal, one fan has come up with an answer to the crisis. The future of the south coast club was once again thrown into doubt yesterday after owner Vladimir Antonov's company, CSI,...
Read full storyBlast reported in Buckingham Palace cryogenics bunker
London - Suspicion is falling on a delivery of 1,000 barrels of sweet light crude - er...embalming fluid! - that's usually pumped direct into royal rejuvenation pods ahead of the Queen's Christmas Message. Storage tanks deep below Palace kitchens...
Read full storyMiracle on 15 Tebow Street, or How a Bargain Basement NFL Team Wins
At this time of year many folks love to watch and re-watch the classic movie about a mysterious man who becomes the Santa Claus at Macy's Department Store. Some people begin to think he really is Santa Claus, and others begin to think he is a nutc...
Read full storyWenger hires professional bottom-wipers to save exhausted Arsenal players
As high oil prices threaten world-wide financial stability, another energy crisis is unfolding closer to home. With Arsenal's top players 'running on empty', according to Manager Arsene Wenger, the Gunners' Chief has been forced to implement anoth...
Read full storyLeonardo Da Vinci: Painter At The Court Of Milan, National Gallery. Exhibition Review.
One of the most eagerly anticipated exhibitions ever, Leonardo Da Vinci: Painter at the Court of Milan brings nine of the Renaissance genius's paintings together for the first time. The show is a complete sell-out and queues for the few daily walk-in tickets are forming in the small hours. Proserpine Gainsborough-Halfwit joined the throng at the National Gallery... Have you ever tried to...
Read full storyYour Daily Flexicon: Wednesday Nov 30
Please join me each day as I reveal the words and phrases guaranteed to keep you single for a whole year. Sourced directly from the world's finest internet dating profiles, Your Daily Flexicon is the essential guide for the online dater, or indeed anyone who has a thing for typos, malapropisms and plane baad speling. Here's one for all you avid explorers: "I love visiting new towns and chec...
Read full storyIce-cream manufacturer produces new flavours to honour MPs
Ice-cream manufacturer Godfrey Sice's company, are producing new flavours and names of ice-cream concoctions, in honour of individual MP's and Political Parties performances in the Government, and opposition. Here is the full list to be available soon: Flavour/Name: Credit Crunch In Honour of: George Osborne Flavour/Name: Nut'n Accomplished In Honour of: Nick Clegg Flavour/Name: Sile...
Read full storyHerman Cain's Latest "PizzaGate" Gal, Ginger White May Be The One That Causes Him To Throw In The "Hotel Towel"
ATLANTA - It appears that Herman Cain's new campaign bumper sticker may be reading "Put a fork in it - it's done." The black GOPer who wears a black cowboy hat, obviously oblivious to the fact that the cowboys in the Old West who wore black cowboy...
Read full storyCalifornia Passes Law Okaying the Use of Pepper Spray Indiscriminately
The California Senate has just passed a bill to allow a person to use pepper spray at their own discretion without being held criminally accountable. The bill was signed into law earlier this afternoon by California Governor Jerry Brown. Minutes...
Read full storyGreat Politicians of Our Time - Henri de Floric
Henri de Floric (1911 - 1979) was a well-respected politician for much of his life. He was not affiliated to any party and represented a small constituency in the south-east of England, called Little Thugsby, for over 25 years. Born in the town of the same name, he never joined a political party. His independence gave him the ability to represent his people without worrying about party policies an...
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