Daniel Craig's James Bond Girl no. 23 is Kim Kardashian

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

image for Daniel Craig's James Bond Girl no. 23 is Kim Kardashian

The 23rd James Bond film 'Skyfall' is scheduled to open just before next year's Presidential election and the pre film publicity machine is already in full gear with James Bond 21, 22 and 23 Daniel Craig blasting Bond Girl 23 Kim Kardashian and the other James Bond girls Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner.

In an interview today with UK GQ Magazine Daniel Craig said of his new co stars the Kardashians "You can't buy your privacy back. Ooh I want to be alone. F--- you. We've been in your living room. We were at your birth. You filmed it for us and showed us the placenta, and now you want some privacy? Look at the Kardashians, they're worth millions…I don't think they were that badly off to begin with, but now look at them. You see that and you think 'What, you mean all I have to do is behave like a f----ing idioot on television and then you'll pay me millions? I'm not judging it. Well, I am, obviously."

Projection is where you project your own insecurities onto other people. It's like Daniel Craig subconsciously feels bad for making millions of dollars playing a cartoon character who repeatedly saves the world and he is projecting his own self loathing onto a screen named Kim Kardashian. There is also pretend projection used to stir up controversy to promote a film. It's not like Daniel Craig sent Navy Seals to fly under the radar into Pakistan to kill Osama bin Laden, or sent a drone into Yemen to kill his successor Anwar al Awlaki or saved a million Libyans from being slaughtered by Mo Gadaffi. The real Bond Girls are in the White House today.

In the latest James Bond 'Skyfall' script the film opens up with Stephen Hawking predicting that if human beings do not colonize space or learn to travel in time fast the human race will become extinct in religious nuclear World War III. Jihadists kidnap Kim Kardashian and hide her in the pyramids and then send a ransom note to Kris Jenner that if all the Jews do not move out of Israel within a week they will blow up the pyramids.

A video is sent in which Kim Kardashian says 'Mom, Khloe, Kourtney, Kylie, Kendall I think they're serious. They're treating me really well. They're talking about 'Kim and Kourtney Take Cairo' which could be huge with a billion Muslims. Whatever you do don't draw any caricatures of the Prohphet Muhammad peace be upon him. One of them asked if he could something about Copt so I said fine go ahead. Then all the other guys joined in and I had quite a good time. Then someone released the whole thing without my knowledge or consent and the videos have already sold a hundred million copies. Call our lawyer Erik Gustafson fast!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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