California Passes Law Okaying the Use of Pepper Spray Indiscriminately

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

image for California Passes Law Okaying the Use of Pepper Spray Indiscriminately
Best way to clear the room of annoying people.

The California Senate has just passed a bill to allow a person to use pepper spray at their own discretion without being held criminally accountable. The bill was signed into law earlier this afternoon by California Governor Jerry Brown.

Minutes after the law was passed Republican members of the state Senate immediately started pepper spraying Democrat members while the Democrats retaliated by pepper spraying the Republicans. The Tea Party members of the Senate simply just pepper sprayed each other, while Green Party members wanted to amend the bill to ensure that all pepper spray was biodegradable.

The idea for the law came from an incident at a Los Angeles Brawl-Mart when a woman pepper sprayed 20 other customers in order to get an X-Box that was being sold at half price. The woman was not charged in the incident by the police who stated that the pepper spray was used in self defense of an X-Box, which was pretty gallant when you come to think about it.

Sales of pepper spray have gone out the roof since the bill was enacted with people stampeding into pepper spray outlets such as Peter Piper's Pepper Spray Pecker Heads. Employees at the pepper spray outlets have been giving free demonstrations of their various products by pepper spraying unruly crowds of customers.

"This is the best law that has ever been passed", exclaimed Freddy Red who lived in Anaheim. "I bought two cans this morning and I have already used them up on my in-laws. So now I'm back to get some more. I really recommend this as a Christmas present. To one's self that is".

Six other states quickly followed suit and passed similar bills while the rest of the country's states are mulling their options.

The run on pepper spray has caused a shortage of peppers throughout the state which are used in the making of pepper spray. This shortage has caused consumable black and red pepper to be unavailable at restaurants and grocery stores. Fortunately this shortage does not seem to have much of an effect as people are now pepper spraying their food before they eat it.

In other news the sale of gas masks around the country has more than quadrupled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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