Isle of Wight News - Mysterious Nightcreeper Sightings Continue
Numerous sightings of what has been reported to be an other-worldly humanoid form creature have been reported in major centres on the Island over the past year including Newport, Cowes and Ryde, along with some sightings in Sandown and Wooton Bridge...
Read full storySingapore Shuts Down The Spoof! After Just Fifty Two Seconds
The efforts by the Lowton brothers to set up thespoof.co.sg ended in yet another failure yesterday after the Singaporean Government shut down the site and accused the Lowton brothers of lying on their application. Mr Benjamin Lowton, the youngest Low...
Read full storyAdvertorial:Can We Blow You Up?
You have probably seen photos, television programs and cinema reels about the stuff that happened yesterday , but until you experience it for yourself you won't really understand what it's like. Nothing on earth matches the sensations you will experience, the thrill of breathing and moving under the direct threat of being blown to bits in a market. Here at Qaeda Tours we will guide you and give yo...
Read full storyLetters To The Editor About Lord Haw Haw And Other People
Dear Sir, many people have been writing into your letters page to say how they have known celebrity people. Well, if it's good for the goose, it's open to abuse. So, throwing back the cutlet, sorry, gauntlet, I can say that I knew Lord Haw-Haw, the infamous English man who worked for German radio propagation during the war. Progaganda not propagation. Propagation was gardening and it would h...
Read full storySuper Star Nene Tells The Denver Nuggets He May Be Returning To Brazil For Good
DENVER - Six foot eleven inch Denver Nuggets center Nene told a close friend of his that he is tired of playing games (no pun intended). Sport Territory's Atwood "Overtime" McSparrow stated that the Brazilian star says that he has made it very cle...
Read full storyLetters To The Editor That Should Have Been Torn Up
Dear Sir, I have been reading some of your readers' letters that they have written to you, the Editor of this magazine (these are what are called "Letters To The Editor", seeing as how they are written to you; this is of course a mere matter of form, they are not written to you personally, but if we do not have forms then we have chaos, as Schloer wrote in his Treatise Upon The Properties Of Th...
Read full storyPerez Hilton Admits That The Rumors That He's Dating The Flamboyant Prince Poppycock Are True?
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Noted Tinsel Town blogger Perez Hilton, who is no stranger to the glittery world of the bright lights of the limelight, has admitted that he is indeed dating the one and only Prince Poppycock. Hilton spoke with Coquette Eucalyptus...
Read full storyDorking pensioner had a shed load of one inch Hitlers
A pensioner nicknamed 'Der Fuhrer' has been arrested at a Dorking car boot sale for spreading Nazi propaganda. The local recluse, Adolf Nonce , lives in a bungalow just outside Dorking called 'The Berlin Bunker'. Herr Nonce, who according to h...
Read full storyTop Gear Back For Seventeenth Season - Was It Ever Away?
Popular motoring programme, Top Gear, returns to BBC2 this evening for its 17th season. Presented by Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond, the show is BBC2's most popular programme and it's best-selling show around the world. It conti...
Read full storyF1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win
A random urine sample taken from Sebastian Vettel less than an hour after his victory in the Valencia Grand prix has proved positive for a controlled substance. A statement reads; "As part of our ongoing policy of random drug testing a sample was...
Read full storyGlastonbury - Police detain 137,000 people for questioning
A senior member of David Cameron's Tory constituency association has been found dead in a toilet at Glastonbury Festival, the police announced a curfew with immediate effect, no one is to leave Glastonbury. Of the 137,000 people attending the fest...
Read full storyGlastonbury Portaloo suicide of David Cameron constituency chair
Glastonbury - It's a new twist on that all-too-familiar OMG! No Damn Loo Paper!! sinking feeling typical of outdoor gatherings. The discovery of West Oxfordshire Conservative Association chairman Christopher Shale's body in a music festival lavato...
Read full storyChinese X-Files ministry hacked as Huangshan ghost city mirage stuns fans of The Matrix
Anhui Province, China - Hackers have stormed China's global mind control HQ as a Matrix-style ghost city appeared in Huangshan after a drought-busting deluge. Reports this weekend claim IT servers at the Ministry for Inner Truth UFO division are i...
Read full story2012 Olympic Games - in GREECE?
Britain breathed a big sigh of relief last week when hearing the news that we'd not be required to contribute to the next bailout pot of cash for Greece - Though we will still have to pour another £1billion or so down the Greek drain via the International Monetary Fund. Personally I'm not convinced we've been let off that lightly. And as the saying goes, 'The devil is in the details'. EU presid...
Read full storyUgly dog wins world's ugliest dog contest
A very ugly dog called Yolda (name changed for legal reasons and the editor) has won the Worlds Ugliest Dog contest after being rejected by the Worlds Prettiest Dog contest. After the disappointment of rejection Yolda's owners initially wanted to...
Read full storyAI Developed for the development of AI
Programmers up in the Alan Turing Institute for Computing (ATIC) have pipped developers down in the German Academy of Random Algorithmic Gibberish Engineers (GARAGE) to create an artificial intelligence that can create artificial intelligence. "Th...
Read full storyStatistics working for the government
The head of the new government department for analyzing statistics, Sir Arthur Dozen MP said his fresh approach to interpreting statistics would help to improve the government's popularity and make people feel safer. He outlined how his new approa...
Read full storySheffield pensioner hounded off YouTube by America
Doting grandmother Nelly Bother, 76, was distraught today after her first tentative steps into the information age were completely ruined by the collective efforts of a bunch of Yanks. Nelly, of Shiregreen, with the help of her Help the Aged suppo...
Read full storyDispirited David Lynch phones in next film, goes home
Renown surrealist director David Lynch has revealed that although he was for many years secretly pleased that he could fob nonsensical bollocks off on the supposed literati of the film world, the fact that it's been just so fucking easy for the last...
Read full storyIntelligentsia Society in trouble with the Political Correctness Brigade
Mensa, the society for people with IQs that put them in the top one hundred percent of the population, has come under fire for being misogynistic. "Their very name shows the very barrier to women we are trying to destroy," said Philamina Black, h...
Read full storyScouts attempt to enter the record books
The 3.14159th scout troupe from Lytham St Annes in Blackpool are attempting to get into the record books by circumnavigating Google. "We're planning on starting with all the sites in the UK," said trope leader, Arthur "Clover" Garlic. "We'll visit...
Read full storyThe Minnesota Timberwolves 21-Year-Old Draft Pick Tanguy Ngombo Is Actually 37!
MINNEAPOLIS - Needless to say the executives with the Minnesota Timbervolves are not very happy campers at the moment. They have been duped and duped good as Heidi "The Plastic Woman" Montag is always saying. It seems that when the Timberwolves...
Read full storyMel Gibson Scoffs At The Rumors That He Took Upskirt Photos of Britney Spears
APACHE JUNCTION, Arizona - Mel Gibson traveled to Arizona to see about selling some property that he has owned in the state for ten years. The Australian movie star said that he wants to sell the property before he finds out that it has burned dow...
Read full storyThatcher's Handbag To Be Auctioned For Charity
In a gesture which may show that she has finally buried the hatchet, Baroness Thatcher has agreed that her trustiest of handbags will be auctioned for charity. The handbag in question, a classic 1979 Asprey, is expected to reach a value of £100,00...
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