F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win

Funny story written by pinxit

Sunday, 26 June 2011

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win
Vettel's urine samples: 'Is it coz I is Bladdered?'

A random urine sample taken from Sebastian Vettel less than an hour after his victory in the Valencia Grand prix has proved positive for a controlled substance.

A statement reads; "As part of our ongoing policy of random drug testing a sample was taken from driver Sebastian Vettel shortly after the European Grand Prix. This sample has proved positive for the banned substance ethanol (C2H5OH) - commonly known by its street-name, 'Bubbly'."

According to an F1 pitlane insider, Vettel was clearly and shamelessly brandishing huge quantities of the substance, even on the victor's podium.

"He reeked of booze, it was on his breath and all over his racesuit, overalls and cap. I dunno how he thought he'd get away with it. I tell you what, Alonso and Webber were lucky not to get tested too...they were in the same state on the podium. Those lads must have a real problem" he said.

Red Bull were said to be 'gobsmacked' by the test result and declined to issue an immediate statement, but a clearly puzzled Vettel issued a quick retort to assembled pitlane reporters.

'Perhaps it is because I keep winning and am always on the podium... whatever it is, they keep taking the piss out of me' he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more