Chinese X-Files ministry hacked as Huangshan ghost city mirage stuns fans of The Matrix

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for Chinese X-Files ministry hacked as Huangshan ghost city mirage stuns fans of The Matrix
Huanghshan is located in eastern China

Anhui Province, China - Hackers have stormed China's global mind control HQ as a Matrix-style ghost city appeared in Huangshan after a drought-busting deluge.

Reports this weekend claim IT servers at the Ministry for Inner Truth UFO division are in meltdown following the sighting of the apocalyptic apparition over the Xin'an River.

"It's confirmed widespread red pill/blue pill fears about Chinese simulated reality population control," a UN expert in alien phenomena said today.

"Watch out for a Keanu Reeves-style savior emerge by next Friday's solar eclipse to challenge the alien controllers of sentient, humanity-subduing machines."

This weekend cyberwarfare anaylsts were studying the Huangshan mirage to determine if it's triggered something primordial in the Chinese psyche.

Sinologists reckon this is firmly rooted in the 8th century AD reign of Huang Di, the legendary Yellow Emperor and founder of Chinese civilization.

The Anhui Province location of the ghost city apparition underlines the importance of its acclaimed UNESCO World Heritage Site.

The area was named by imperial decree named to honor Huang Di's eventual ascent to heaven 'via some sort of cosmic transporter ray' at Tian Du Feng - the 'Capital of Heaven Peak'.

Among Huang's myriad accomplishments in his 100-year reign was the 'cultivation of moral character' and the 'refining of immortality pills'.

"We can only guess if these were colored red or blue," UNESCO experts admitted today.

"After all, this part of the Province is renowned for a phenomenon known locally as Buddha's Light - a 'glory' or optical illusion caused by backscattered light and refraction of aerial-borne water particles."

And, in a curious twist, the ancient Han Chinese word associated with a being who has supernatural powers is 'Nio' - not a million miles, perhaps, from the the computer-hacking alias 'Neo' adopted by Reeves' IT programmer character Thomas A Anderson.

No official comment is yet available from Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao who has just arrived in London for the UK-China Strategic Summit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more